Die, Mommie, Die! (2003)

Jason Priestley: Tony Parker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tony Parker : Why do you hate your mother so?

  Edith Sussman : I hate her because she's a money-grubbing selfish bitch who ruined my father's life, and a promiscuous slut who spends all my father's hard-earned money on trash like you!

  Tony Parker : That's not good enough.

• Tony Parker : [Tony and Edith are now in the pool. Tony hugs Edith tightly]  Edie - lovely, smooth, sweet Edie. I want to know everything about you: your favorite color, your favorite movie star... do you think your mother killed your father?

  Edith Sussman : Canary yellow, Carole Lynley, and yes, I know she did it but I can't prove a thing... Oh! Tony, I think you just broke my hymen...

• Edith Sussman : [Edith is sitting at the poolside, mourning the passing of her father. Tony Parker shows up]  How dare you show your face in this house less than 24 hours after my father's death?

  Tony Parker : Sorry you feel that way, Edie. But perhaps... I can be of some comfort to your mother.

  Edith Sussman : Well I'm afraid you can't. Mother's out with my brother Lance. He's helping her adjust to her new widowhood.

  [Scene briefly changes to show Lance on his motorcycle, Angela on the back, whooping and laughing it up] 

  Edith Sussman : - What kind of a crazy world is this? My father's dead, and my mother's gigolo shows up, ready for some hot action?

  Tony Parker : I suppose I deserved that. Would you believe, the last thing I wanted to do was betray your father?

  Edith Sussman : [Sarcastically]  Oh... like REALLY!

  Tony Parker : I don't ask your forgiveness... it's almost as if I didn't have a choice. Your mother is a sorceress. She casts a hypnotic spell over a man. You possess that same magic, Edie.

  Edith Sussman : I do?

  [Tony looks at her and nods] 

  Edith Sussman : No... you're not to be trusted!

• Tony Parker : I heard your father died of a massive heart attack.

  Edith Sussman : So they said. But there's something not right about it.

  Tony Parker : Being a man of the world, I have friends in interesting places. Mind if I... do a little leg work?

  Edith Sussman : Yeah, sure... But I thought you were under mother's spell?

  Tony Parker : Haven't you heard? There's a new witch in town.

• Tony Parker : You can't discard me like one of your false eyelashes!