- Cher: Do you have "Bambi"?
- Shelley Winters: [as Shelley] Dear, you're not the type. I don't have that in stock, but I've got a rifle from "Winchester 73".
- Andy Kaufman: [as Adam] But why do I need an Eve. What can she do? Can she play ball?
- Cher: [as the Snake] Does Eddie Haskell love the Beaver?
- Cher: [as Eve] Hey Adam! They told me you look like Redford, dance like Travolta, and swing like King Kong.
- Lucille Ball: [as the Cleaning Lady] By the way don't bother catching a lizard because you don't need a footman these days. It's gauche. Very gauche.
- Cher: [to camera] I wish I was the crying type. I'd be a lot happier right now.
- Cher: I don't know what to believe anymore.
- Lucille Ball: [as the Sign Painter] Faith can move mountains!
- Lucille Ball: [as the Cleaning Lady] But can it open doors?
- Cher: [after wishing herself home] Nothing happened! You're no wizard!
- Elliott Gould: [as the Sign Painter] And you're no Judy Garland!