Space Quest 6: Roger Wilco in the Spinal Frontier (1995 Video Game)

William Hall: Roger Wilco, Director, Computer Voice

Photos 

Quotes 

• Roger Wilco : So this is Stooge Fighter 3. Doesn't look so tough to me.

  Djurkwhad : Say Pardner care to indulge in a friendly game? By the way the name's Djurkwhad, what's your momma call you?

  Roger Wilco : A mistake, but my friends call me Roger, Roger Wilco.

  Djurkwhad : Well it's darn fine to meet you Roger. So, what do ya say to a friendly little round of Stooge Fighter 3?

  Roger Wilco : [If you choose Let's Rumble]  Gosh Mr. Djurkwhad that ah, that sounds neat.

• Narrator : [If you discover the hidden Easter Egg at 8-Rear on the screen by control and mouse click a bunch of times the secret credits shows up]  Thank you for purchasing Space Quest 6. You did purchase it, didn't you? Oh, of course you did. You sure couldn't be like one of those weasels who would make illegal copies. You're too cool for that.

  Roger Wilco : [the secret credits play until it gets to the end of the credits]  Cause I'm Roger Wilco, I'll kick your ass! I know where you live!

• Director : The StarCon Federation has reached its decision. Roger Wilco, please step forward.

  [the spotlight turns on and Roger Wilco drags his chains while tripping over objects and on the cat until he finally steps into the spotlight] 

  Director : Roger Wilco, you have been judged guilty of the following crimes: Abandoning your post. Deviating from mission parameters. Misuse of StarCon Property. Disintegrating a fellow officer. Perpetrating a sequel without authorization. And consorting with a female of higher rank. Do you have anything to say for yourself before we pronounce sentence?

  Roger Wilco : Umm... Can't you guys take a joke?

  Director : Do you have anything Intelligent to say for yourself before we pronounce sentence?

  Roger Wilco : Uh, nope.

  Director : Very well. It is the opinion of this tribunal that as punishment for your crimes against the StarCon Federation, you are to be decommissioned. You are hereby stripped of the rank of Captain.

  [a StarCon man grabs at Rogers chests and rips the StarCon logo off his shirt] 

  Director : You are no longer an officer of the StarCon Federation.

  [the StarCon men rips both sleeves off Rogers shirt] 

  Director : Your enrollment at StarCon Academy is hereby terminated.

  [the StarCon man rips his shirt and pants off, brushes him off and unzips his body costumes revealing him in his underwear] 

  Director : However... Due to your successful return of the SCS Eureka, your rescue of the Goliath's crew... and the fact that nobody gets rid of stubborn mildew stains and black heel marks as well as you do... we are returning you to your former post with StarCon Fleet.

  [Then his underwear gets taken off] 

  Director : You are hereby ordered to resume your duties immediately as Janitor Second Class on board... the SCS DeepShip 86.

• Roger Wilco : OK. I'm ready. Energize!

  [Then the robot worker teleports Rogers body but it malfunctions and the robot bangs the controls and Roger is teleported with his legs stuck in the streets and half of his body above the streets] 

  Narrator : As we join our hero, Roger Wilco, he has just been transported to the surface of Polysorbate LX to enjoy a little shore leave. Apparently. there was a minor glitch in the process. Well, at least you got here with all your important parts, your hands, your mouth, and your stomach.

  Roger Wilco : Oh, great. Real wonderful! Nice beam job, you metallic piece of scrap. Geez, this is snug. Real snug. Hmmm. You know, it actually this makes me feels kind of good. I remember when I used to wear my mom's... er, well, never mind, This is no time for nostalgia, I've got a serious extraction problem to work out first.

• Roger Wilco : [Roger grabs the walking robot which pulls his legs out of the street asphalt and frees him on the ground]  Thank you, my good man.

• Narrator : [If the player clicks the buckazoid icon on the photo booth and Roger walks inside it]  You pop a coin in the slot and climb on in.

  Roger Wilco : All right! I'm looking pretty good. Fire away.

  [Then the photo booth takes many pictures of Roger Wilco. Roger walks out and the alien creature walks in the photo booth] 

  Roger Wilco : There's got to be an optics problem with that machine. I look, uh, partially digested.

  [the photo booth turns out to be a carnivore monster that eats up the alien and crawls away] 

  Narrator : Good thing you didn't opt for that second set of prints after all. Guess that guy won't be filing any complaints with the Portable Business Association.

• Roger Wilco : Hey!

  [Roger walks up to Blaine Rohmer] 

  Blaine Rohmer : Hmm. I wonder if you... nah. What was I thinking?

• Roger Wilco : Hey!

  [Roger walks up to Blaine Rohmer] 

  Blaine Rohmer : Uh, Buddy, maybe you can help me out, I'm trying to track down this endodroid. I'm an Endodroid Runner. I know I don't look so hot but I'm in disguise, you know?

  Roger Wilco : In disguise? Yeah, you do look disguised. I just don't know what like. Hey, here's a tip. Think seriously about a flea dip.

  Blaine Rohmer : I could really use your help getting this one. I've had a helluva time tracking him down. You've gotta help me. Tell you what. If you can find and immobilize this bionic beer opener, it's worth fifty buckazoids to ya. What do you say to that? I've scoured this dung heap and haven't seen synthetic hide nor hair of him. All that's left to check is that bar. I'd go in there myself, ya see. but I've had a little misunderstanding with the management. No biggie. I'm sure it'll blow over soon. Anyway, can you help me out? Whaddaya say? Fifty buckazoids. And if you don't mind me saying it, you look like you could use it. So how about it?

  Roger Wilco : Well, I don't know. What's this endodroid thing look like? And why do you want it?

  Blaine Rohmer : Well, he's about your height, only maybe a few inches higher. And I'd say about your weight, give or take 60 pounds or so. But then, that's just probably because of that stuff he's made of. Kind of a liquid metal thing, but that's not important. He's got a crewcut and I think he was wearing a long dark coat. Has a strange accent.

  Roger Wilco : But why do you want him?

  Blaine Rohmer : Oh, he made some people mad.

  Roger Wilco : How?

  Blaine Rohmer : Oh, I guess he sort of jumped out of his program and kind of killed and or mangled a score or so of co-workers and, more importantly, management personnel. A big no-no. No big deal. I just got to take him in for analysis and processing. It could help pull me out of my, uh, unfortunate cash flow situation. And most importantly, it can mean fifty buckazoids for you. Whaddaya say?

  Roger Wilco : Well, I could use the buckazoids. I'll see what I can do.

  Blaine Rohmer : Great! You won't regret it. You're gonna need this datacorder. It's been modified to only be sensitive to certain unique components like droidium, something only an endodroid would be composed of. This'll help you root him out. Good luck! Uh. I mean, let me know when you've got him. Thanks. I've gotta go check in with the home office. I'll check back out here a little later to see how you're coming along.

  [Blaine gives Roger a datacorder and walks away] 

• Roger Wilco : [If the player clicks the ice cube tray on Blaine]  Here's your cubed compadre. Where's my fifty buckazoids?

  Blaine Rohmer : No bull? You really got him, eh? Un, I mean, good job.

  Roger Wilco : Yeah, I really got him, And I could really use my fifty buckazoids.

  Blaine Rohmer : Tell you what. I'll pay you when they pay me.

  Roger Wilco : No. I need the money now, or I let the guy thaw right here, right now.

  Blaine Rohmer : Now, just a minute! You don't wanna do that! Hold on to your alimentary contents! I got it here. I got it here. Here, you happy? I'll just be taking that tray. It's been a special treat doing business with you.

  [Roger gets fifty buckazoids, Blaine walks into the bar and gets into a fight with Endodroid] 

• Roger Wilco : Hey!

  [Roger walks over to a drunk named Elmo Pug] 

  Roger Wilco : Say, you look familiar. Didn't I kick your butt in a huge robot once?

  Elmo Pug : Oh, yeah, that. I hoped to forget that. It was the beginning of my undoing. I was a laughingstock around the company in the final days of Scumsoft. Oh well, if that hadn't gotten me, some of my other creative management techniques would have. In looking at the big picture, I suppose that arrangement left me with all of my physical assets intact. Not a single other thing, unfortunately. I'm humiliated to admit that I have, on rare occasion, resorted to selling cheat sheets for arcade games. I've got to maintain a fairly, uh, modest profile, I guess you could say. Time heals wounds and all that. Plus, maybe I can avoid a premature termination.

  Roger Wilco : Wow, that's all very interesting. And very boring, if you don't mind my saying. What I want to know is, can you sell me a cheat sheet for Stooge Fighter 3?

  Elmo Pug : Well, I think I may be able to facilitate that. I may have one in stock. Okay, here's what I need from you, a nice new bottle of Coldsorian Brandy. If you can deliver that, I think we can call it a deal. My people... I mean, I'll be waiting to take delivery from you so that we can put a bow on this deal. Catch you later.

  [Elmo Pug walks away] 

• Roger Wilco : [If the player clicks the buckazoid icon on Pa Conshohocken, Roger then puts the coins in the cash drawer]  I'd like a bottle of your Coldsorian Brandy, please.

  Pa Conshohocken : Well, so you're interested in the good stuff, eh? I'll just take that twenty, thank you. Haven't sold much of this stuff lately except to some sorry looking little pud. Hah hah hah! Oh, hey, that reminds me. He still owes me some money. Doh, I can't believe I fell for that scam. Oh well, enjoy. Heh heh heh Sucker!

  [Pa gets the brandy bottle and gives it to Roger Wilco]