Mad Dogs (2002)

Iain Fraser: Rabbie Burns

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Dr. Mackenzie : I would get a job if I was you.

  Rabbie Burns : A job?

  Dr. Mackenzie : Aye, an undertaking or an appointment with a future profit, even of a trifling or temporary nature.

  Rabbie Burns : I don't know about that.

  Dr. Mackenzie : Well I can't keep you in the program any more, Rabbie. You're a 100% successful remission. You know, you are my pride and joy, Rabbie.

  Rabbie Burns : Well I don't feel too grand at the moment.

  Dr. Mackenzie : Are you hearing the voices again?

  Rabbie Burns : N-no.

  Dr. Mackenzie : You taken your pills today?

  Rabbie Burns : Religiously.

  Dr. Mackenzie : Well you can throw them away, because they're placebos.

  Rabbie Burns : Eh, come again?

  Dr. Mackenzie : Placebos, Rabbie. A medicine given to humor or gratify a patient, without having to exercise any curative effects. In a word, rubbish.

  Rabbie Burns : I thought I was feeling a bit less ship shape.

  Dr. Mackenzie : It's in your head Rabbie. That's what you've had for the last 21 days. Off the drugs and no relapses. It's all in the mind!

  Rabbie Burns : So that's it then.

  Dr. Mackenzie : That's it Rabbie! I've got to be going, your the last appointment of the week. Now have a good Sabbath. Go forth and do not multiply. Come and see me in three weeks time. Here's my office number if you need me before that. After hours leave a message. I *can* be there in an emergency. Anything short of an emergency and the wrath of God will descend upon in terrible and consuming fury!

• Alien : You have been chosen out of the countless millions that inhabit this speck of dirt to be the bearer of a binding command.

  Rabbie Burns : Ah, tell me about it.

  Alien : You will inform the leaders of your planet of our ultimate decree.

  Rabbie Burns : Can this not wait 'til tomorrow, I've got an important date.

  Alien : For decades we have we have watched your feeble experiments in steam locomotion, combustion engine, 3D animation, and nuclear power, but we have not interfered.

  Rabbie Burns : What about all those alien abductions, snatching people for their bed and shoving things up their ass? The corn circles...

• Rabbie Burns : We're a sorry lot. But there's a lot of really good people down there.

  Supreme Being : Hmm, name one.

  Rabbie Burns : Well, you got um Socrates, Galileo, Jesus Christ, he wasn't too bad. You've got Nelson Mandela, Kenny Douglas, your Princess Diana. oh and Canadian TV host off the television, the one who goes around the global highlighting child labor in the 3rd world...