The Bard's Tale (2004 Video Game)

Cary Elwes: The Bard

Quotes 

• Viking Leader Silkbeard : That was the Orkney Dragon you loosed on that damn' town! Months we'd been at it, hammering at the gates and slaughtering the townsfolk when we could get at 'em. Then along comes your dragon, smashes the gate in one pass and puts half the city to the torch! It... it was... beautiful.

  The Bard : No wonder the locals hate me.

  Viking Leader Silkbeard : Hate you? Hate you? They don't hate you, man! They love you!

  The Bard : They love me? What are you on about?

  Viking Leader Silkbeard : Wait. No. Not love. Loathe! They loathe you! Despise you! They'll curse your name with every breath for a thousand years! What wouldn't I give for fame like that!

• Narrator : Despite the Bard's warm and shining personality, people continued to run from him like the plague. Perhaps he would one day learn that in order to keep friends near, a man such as himself needed to keep them tied up.

  The Bard : If only I could find a sock big enough to put in that mouth of yours.

• The Bard : You chase that old nag around the pasture and grab the bell, and I won't slaughter all your chickens.

• MacRath : Ach! Laddie! Hye yon bogle awa, an' its 'twa pund sterlin' 'll gi' ye!

  The Bard : Come again!

• Mannanan : You know not what you are getting yourself into fool of a Bard. Turn back now before it is too late!

  The Bard : Not knowing what I'm getting myself into has been the latest trend for me.

• The Bard : Who says the undead don't know how to party?

• Fionnaoch : She is from the very bowels of hell itself!

  The Bard : I know she's a little bossy, but no reason to get rude.

• The Bard : The things I do for lust.