"Trial & Retribution" Blue Eiderdown: Part 1 (TV Episode 2004) Poster

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6/10
Lascivious La Plante
Philby-324 February 2006
I'm not complaining but this miniseries from the fertile mind of Lynda La Plante just about falls into the soft porn category – British Division. Our intrepid detectives, Walker (David Hayman) and Connor (the world's youngest DCI and Irish to boot, played by Victoria Smurfit) investigate a murder – or is it two? – associated with a High Class spanking club run by the charismatic Colin Thorpe, played by the very charismatic Colin Salmon. In order to crack the case Walker, who really ought to know better having been in every "Trial and Retribution" to date, sleeps with a prime suspect, and Connor takes part in an ill-conceived undercover operation as a bondage mistress (it must be said she does look the part). Along the way we are showered with details of just what goes on in the club, much use being made of the split screen, a technique which I thought had its day years ago, often so we wouldn't miss out on some sexy bit. Of course we get a result, but it is more or less by accident.

There have been lots of cop series showing the cops as less than perfect – La Plante's own excellent Prime Suspect series with Helen Mirren being an example. But this lot is a bunch of clots. Constantly quarrelling, missing obvious clues and misbehaving with suspects and witnesses, they take three times longer than anyone else to solve the crime, even though the "establishment" opposition to their investigation is no more than pro forma. This is not endearing eccentric behaviour from lovable curmudgeons like Morse or Frost, but incompetence at a level which makes (say) Robbie Ross from "Taggart" look like a model of professionalism.

Entertaining? Well, up to a point. Visually, it was an interesting production (the opening sequence for example) but I did feel we got rather more sexual imagery than the story required. At times it seemed the director was thinking just what he could get away with, without really trying to advance the storyline, which was not a bad one. But how these coppers survived a debriefing without getting sacked will remain the biggest mystery.
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