Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

George Clooney: Mr. Fox

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Mr. Fox : Redemption? Sure. But in the end, he's just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a Chinese restaurant.

• Mole : I just want to see... a little sunshine.

  Mr. Fox : But you're nocturnal, Phil. Your eyes barely open on a good day.

  Mole : I'm sick of your double talk, we have rights!

• Mr. Fox : [sighs]  Who am I, Kylie?

  Kylie : Who how? What now?

  Mr. Fox : Why a fox? Why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? I'm saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? Who am I? And how can a fox ever be happy without, you'll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?

  Kylie : I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds illegal.

• Badger : In summation, I think you just got to not do it, man. That's all.

  Mr. Fox : I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.

  Badger : The cuss you are.

  Mr. Fox : The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?

  Badger : No, you cussing with me?

  Mr. Fox : Don't cussing point at me!

  Badger : If you're gonna cuss with somebody, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!

  Mr. Fox : You're not gonna cuss with me!

  [Both start snarling at each other, and then settle down] 

  Mr. Fox : Just buy the tree.

  Badger : Okay.

• Mr. Fox : They say all foxes are slightly allergic to linoleum, but it's cool to the paw - try it. They say my tail needs to be dry cleaned twice a month, but now it's fully detachable - see? They say our tree may never grow back, but one day, something will. Yes, these crackles are made of synthetic goose and these giblets come from artificial squab and even these apples look fake - but at least they've got stars on them. I guess my point is, we'll eat tonight, and we'll eat together. And even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals I've ever met in my life. So let's raise our boxes - to our survival.

• Mrs. Fox : I'm going to lose my temper now.

  Mr. Fox : When?

  Mrs. Fox : Right now.

  Mr. Fox : Well, when...

  [Mrs Fox slashes his face] 

  Mr. Fox : OW!

  Mrs. Fox : Twelve fox years ago, you made a promise to me, while we were caged inside that fox trap, that if we survived, you would never steal another chicken, turkey, goose, duck, or a squab - whatever they are, and I believed you. Why? Why did you lie to me?

  Mr. Fox : Because I'm a wild animal.

  Mrs. Fox : You are also a husband and a father.

  Mr. Fox : I'm trying to tell you the truth about myself.

  Mrs. Fox : I don't care about the truth about yourself. This story is too predictable.

  Mr. Fox : Predictable? Really? What happens in the end?

  Mrs. Fox : In the end, we all die... Unless you change.

• Ash : What's that white stuff around his mouth?

  Kylie : I think he eats soap.

  Mr. Fox : That's not soap.

  Kylie : Wha- why does he have that...

  Mr. Fox : He's rabid. With rabies.

• Mr. Fox : I love you, Felicity.

  Mrs. Fox : I love you too. But I shouldn't have married you.

• Mr. Fox : [Mr. Fox on a motorcycle speaking to a wolf off on a distant ridge]  Where did you come from?

  Mr. Fox : What are you doing here?

  Mr. Fox : I don't think he speaks English or Latin

  Mr. Fox : Pensez-vous que l'hiver sera rude?

  Mr. Fox : [as an aside to Ash, Kris, and Kylie in the motorcycle]  I'm asking if he thinks we're in for a hard winter.

  Mr. Fox : I have a phobia of wolves.

  Mr. Fox : What a beautiful creature.

  Mr. Fox : [as an aside to Ash, Kris, and Kyle in the motorcycle]  Wish him luck boys.

• [from trailer] 

  Mr. Fox : Honey, I am seven non-fox years old. My father died at seven and a half. I don't want to live in a hole anymore, and I'm going to do something about it.

  [tears into his toast in an animalistic manner] 

• Mr. Fox : The whole time I was putting paw over paw with your mother digging beside me, and I thought to myself: I wonder who this little boy...

  Ash : Or girl!

  Mr. Fox : Right, 'cause at the time we didn't know. I wonder who this little boy or girl is gonna be? Ash, I'm so glad he was you.

• [Mr. Fox prepares for the final showdown with the farmers] 

  Mr. Fox : Your tractors uprooted my tree. Your posse hunted my family. Your gunmen kidnapped my nephew. Your rat insulted my wife - and you shot off my tail. I'm not leaving here without that necktie.

  Franklin Bean : Kill him!

  [the Fox family ducks under a hail of gunfire. Pause while the farmers all reload] 

  Mr. Fox : Actually, we should just go. Where'd I park?

• Mrs. Fox : [sees her husband, Kris and Kylie sneaking through the kitchen]  Another book party?

  Mr. Fox : [surprised]  Oh! I didn't see you sitting in the dark over there.

  [grins sheepishly] 

  Mr. Fox : Yeah! No actually, there's a fire. I just got the call; they said maybe it's arson. I've got to interview the marshal and see if it's...

  Mrs. Fox : [turns on the light]  Kylie, is he telling the truth?

  Kylie : I... I don't want to be put into the middle of this!

  Mr. Fox : Thanks, Kylie.

  Mrs. Fox : Why is he wearing that bandit hat?

  [points at Kris, wearing a bandit hat] 

  Mr. Fox : His ears were cold. He's not with us.

  [to Kris] 

  Mr. Fox : Go back to bed.

  [Kris leaves and closes the door] 

  Mrs. Fox : If what I think is happening, IS happening... it better not be.

• Rat : The boy is being held in an apple crate on top of a gun cabinet in the attic of Bean Annex.

  Mr. Fox : Would you have told me if I hadn't killed you first?

  Rat : Never.

• Mr. Fox : [to his wife]  Badger's right. These farmers aren't gonna quit until they catch me. I shouldn't have lied to your face. I shouldn't have fallen off the wagon and started stealing chickens on the sly. I shouldn't have driven these farmers so far and cussed with their heads. I enjoyed it, but I shouldn't have done it. But now there's only one way out of this. Maybe if I hand myself over and let them kill me, stuff me, and hang me over their mantelpiece...

  Mrs. Fox : You'll do no such thing.

  Mr. Fox : Darling, maybe they'll let everyone else live.

  Mrs. Fox : [in tears]  Oh, why did you have to get us into this, Foxy?

  Mr. Fox : I don't know, but I have a possible theory. I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think I'm the greatest, the quote-unquote Fantastic Mr. Fox. And if people aren't knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don't feel good about myself. Foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey, and outsmart predators, and that's what I'm good at. I think at the end of the day, I'm just...

  Mrs. Fox : I know, we're wild animals.

  Mr. Fox : Hmm. I guess we always were. I promise you, if I had all this to do over again, I'd have never let you down. It was always more fun when we did it together, anyway.

• Mr. Fox : A Titanium Card?

  [whistles] 

  Mr. Fox : How did you qualify for this?

  Kylie : I pay my bills on time. I've always had good credits

• Mr. Fox : In a way, I'm almost glad that flood interrupted us because I don't like the toast I was giving. I'm gonna start over.

  Mr. Fox : When I look down this table, with the exquisite feast set before us, I see: two terrific lawyers, a skilled pediatrician, a wonderful chef, a savvy real estate agent, an excellent tailor, a crack accountant, a gifted musician, pretty good minnow fisherman, and possibly the best landscape painter working on the scene today. Maybe a few of you might even read my column from time to time, Who knows? I tend to doubt it.

  Mr. Fox : When I look down this table, with the exquisite feast set before us, I see: two terrific lawyers, a skilled pediatrician, a wonderful chef, a savvy real estate agent, an excellent tailor, a crack accountant, a gifted musician, pretty good minnow fisherman, and possibly the best landscape painter working on the scene today. Maybe a few of you might even read my column from time to time, Who knows? I tend to doubt it.

  [pause] 

  Mr. Fox : I also see a room full of wild animals. Wild animals, with true natures and pure talents. Wild animals with scientific-sounding Latin names that mean something about our DNA. Wild animals each with his own strengths and weaknesses due to his or her species.

  Mr. Fox : Anyway, I think it may very well be all the beautiful differences among us that might just give us the tiniest glimmer of a chance of saving my nephew, and letting me make it up to you for getting us into this, this crazy... whatever it is. I don't know. It's just a thought. Thank you for listening. Cheers, everyone.

  [mimics draining an imaginary glass and smashing it to the floor] 

  Kylie : Let's eat!

  [everyone stares at Kylie] 

  Kylie : What? I was just playin' along with the bit he was doing...

• Mr. Fox : I don't want to live in a hole anymore. It makes me feel poor.

  Mrs. Fox : We ARE poor... but we're happy.

  Mr. Fox : Comme ci, comme ca. Anyway, the views are better above ground.

• Mr. Fox : Ash, are you mad at me? I understand if you are and I'm sorry; I wouldn't have ever involved your cousin if I had realized you would feel this way. It was only ever just because he's kind of a natural... I mean... I mean look at him dig!

  [View changes to Kristofferson, Kylie and Mrs. Fox digging, with Kristofferson leading with athletic determination, then switches back] 

  Mr. Fox : Anyway, I'm sorry if you feel any...

  Ash : [as he shoves dirt in his ears]  You know what? I'm just gonna put dirt in my ears. Ow... That's better. I can't hear you now, but keep talking.

• Ash : [Mr. Fox has just lost his tail in the shooting]  It'll grow back, won't it?

  Kylie : Tails don't grow back.

  Ash : Tails don't grow back?

  Kylie : Uh-uh. 'Cept for lizards.

  Mr. Fox : Tails don't grow back. I'm gonna be tail-less for the rest of my life.

  Ash : Well, anyway, it's not half as bad as double pneumonia, right? I mean his dad's got one foot in the grave and three feet on a banana peel. That's a lot worse than just a...

  Kristofferson : [ricochets an acorn around the room, which lands in the teacup he is holding]  Excuse me, everyone. I'm gonna go meditate for half an hour.

  [exits quickly] 

  Mrs. Fox : [to Ash]  You have got twenty-nine minutes to come up with a proper apology.

  Ash : Me? ME have an apology? He gets a bandit hat? He just got here, and he gets a bandit hat? Where's MY bandit hat? Why didn't I get shot at? It's because, you... you... you think I'm no good at anything! Well, maybe you're right, thanks.

  [stomps away angrily and slams door upon exit] 

  Kylie : [to Mr. Fox]  Told ya not to bring him.

• Mr. Fox : [after animals have dug through the wall]  You scared the cuss out of us!

  Badger : A lot of good animals...

  [starts screaming] 

  Badger : ... are probably going to die, because of you! We've been digging in circles for three days! Half the woods have been obliterated, nobody can get out! Right now, my wife is at the bottom of a flint mine with no food, no water, and 27 starving animal brats!

• Kylie : Hey, I didn't get a job yet, or a Latin name. What's my strength?

  Mr. Fox : Listen, you're Kylie. You're an unbelievably nice guy. Your job is really, just to... be available, I think. I don't know your Latin name. I doubt they even had opossums in Ancient Rome.

• [from trailer] 

  Mrs. Fox : You know, you really are... fantastic.

  Mr. Fox : I try.

• Mr. Fox : That was pure wild animal craziness.

• Mr. Fox : My suicide mission's been cancelled. We're replacing it with a go-for-broke rescue mission.

• Mr. Fox : I spotted a couple of broken burglar bars underneath the back door to Bean's secret cider cellar.

  Kylie : We're breaking into Bean's *house*?

  Mr. Fox : Cellar.

  Kylie : Where he *lives*?

  Mr. Fox : Where he keeps the cider.

  Ash : [appears behind them]  *Below* where he lives.

  Mr. Fox : [takes]  Where'd you come from? Why don't you go back to the tree and do your homework?

  Ash : I want to help you steal some cider.

  Mr. Fox : *We're* going to a *book* party, and keep your mouth shut about any cider, because no one ever said that! Now get out of here!

  Ash : But, ah...

  Mr. Fox : But nothing! You're gonna get me in a lot of trouble! Besides, you're too little and uncoordinated.

  [Ash frowns, twitches, and spits] 

  Mr. Fox : One, two, three!

  [Mr. Fox points in the direction of the tree. Ash stomps off, growling] 

• Mrs. Fox : If we're still alive in the morning I want you to find another line of work.

  Mr. Fox : Okay.

  Title Card : Two years later - 12 fox-years.

• Mr. Fox : Wake up, everybody, they're digging us out!

  Mrs. Fox : They'll kill the children!

  Mr. Fox : Over my dead body they will!

  Mrs. Fox : That's what I'm saying, you'd be dead too in that scenario!

  Mr. Fox : Well, I'm arguing against that!

  Mrs. Fox : What are you talking about?

  Mr. Fox : WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?

  Kylie : STOP, STOP, STOP! You say one thing, she says another, and it all changes back again!

• Badger : Don't buy this tree, Foxy. You're borrowing at nine and a half with no fixed rate, plus moving into the most dangerous neighborhood in the country for someone of your type of species.

  Mr. Fox : You're exaggerating, Badger.

  Badger : [chuckles]  I'm sugar-coating it, man. This is Boggis, Bunce, and Bean, three of the meanest, nastiest, ugliest farmers in the history of this valley.

  Mr. Fox : Really? Tell me about them.

  Badger : All right. Walt Boggis is a chicken farmer, probably the most successful in the world. He weighs the same as a young rhinoceros. He eats three chickens every day for breakfast, lunch, supper, and dessert. That's twelve in total per diem. Nate Bunce is a duck and goose farmer. He's approximately the size of a pot-bellied dwarf, and his chin would be underwater in the shallow end of any swimming pool on the planet. His food is home-made donuts with smashed-up goose livers injected into them. Frank Bean is a turkey and apple farmer. He invented his own species of each. He lives on a liquid diet of strong alcoholic cider, which he makes from his apples. He's as skinny as a pencil, as smart as a whip, and possibly the scariest man currently living. The local human children sing a kind of... eerie little rhyme about them. Here, listen to this.

  [turns on the radio] 

  Children's Song : [singing]  Boggis, Bunce, and Bean / One fat, one short, one lean / Those horrible crooks, so different in looks / were nonetheless equally mean.

• Mr. Fox : One of those slovenly farmers is probably wearing my tail for a necktie.

• [first lines] 

  Mr. Fox : What'd the doctor say?

  Mrs. Fox : Nothing. Supposedly it's just a 24-hour bug. He gave me some pills.

  Mr. Fox : I told you, you probably just ate some bad gristle.

• Mr. Fox : [giving a toast]  Now I've already had too much to drink, and I'm feeling sentimental, but I'm going to say something anyway, which nobody wants to admit, but I think is probably true: we beat 'em. We beat those farmers, and now we're triumphantly eating their roasted chicken, their sizzling duck, their succulent turkey, their foie gras de... Where did the boys go?

• Mr. Fox : Alright, let's start planning. Who knows shorthand?

  [Linda raises her hand] 

  Mr. Fox : Great! Linda! Lutra Lutra - you got some dry paper?

  [she holds up some paper] 

  Mr. Fox : Here we go. Mole! Talpa Europea! What d'you got?

  Mole : I can see in the dark.

  Mr. Fox : That's incredible! We can use that! Linda?

  Linda Otter : Got it.

  Mr. Fox : Rabbit! Oryctolagus Cuniculus!

  Rabbit : I'm fast.

  Mr. Fox : You bet you are. Linda?

  Linda Otter : Got it.

  Mr. Fox : Beaver! Castor Fiber!

  Beaver : I can chew through wood.

  Mr. Fox : Amazing! Linda!

  Linda Otter : Got it.

  Mr. Fox : Badger! Meles Meles!

  Badger : Demolitions expert.

  Mr. Fox : What? Since when?

  Badger : Explosions! Flames! Burning things!

  Mr. Fox : Demolitions expert! OK! Linda?

  Linda Otter : Got it.

  Mr. Fox : [grabs Weasel]  WEASEL! MUSTELA NIVALIS!

  Weasel : Stop yelling!

  Mr. Fox : Ha! Ha-ha! Whoo! Okay. Ash, you and Agnes team up with these little kids and form some KP unit to keep this sewer clean. It's good for morale.

  Ash : Done.

  [turns to Agnes] 

  Ash : What's KP?

  Agnes : I think it means janitors.

  [Ash spits] 

  Field Mouse : Hey-hey! I wanna go with you! I wanna fight!

  Mr. Fox : Good, fabulous! Microtus pennsylvanicus!

  [the field mouse laughs] 

• Mr. Fox : Here, put this bandit hat on.

• Mr. Fox : Why are you wearing that fake bandit hat?

• Mr. Fox : Beagles love blueberries.

• [from trailer] 

  Mr. Fox : [looking at an electric fence]  Huh. This could be difficult.

  Squirrel : It's fatal for humans, but we got enough fur to keep the voltage from getting to us. Let's go!

• Kristofferson : [accompanying Fox and Kylie on a raid]  I must say, I'm pleased to be invited but I'm not sure I should be doing this, Uncle Foxy.

  Mr. Fox : Why not?

  Kristofferson : Because I don't like to be dishonest with people.

  Mr. Fox : Well, just keep your mouth shut and it won't be a problem.

• Mr. Fox : Am I STILL Paranoid?