Weeds (TV Series 2005–2012) Poster

(2005–2012)

Mary-Louise Parker: Nancy Botwin

Photos 

Quotes 

  • [bantering about racial prejudices] 

    Conrad Shepard : You calling black people stupid?

    Nancy Botwin : And lazy... and they also steal.

    Heylia James : Yeah, but we sings and we dances real good.

  • Nancy Botwin : You've made your bed, now fuck in it.

  • Andy Botwin : Hey, Pants.

    Nancy Botwin : Please tell me I didn't just hear that you had cyber sex with a fifteen-year-old deaf girl.

  • Andy Botwin : I paid for a full ounce, they fucking cheated me!

    Nancy Botwin : They fucking saved your ass from going to jail!

    Ms. Greenstein - Attorney : Still that's very uncool. There used to be an unbroken spiritual bond between dealer and buyer. I feel your pain Andrew, and I return it with a renewed sense of outrage.

  • Nancy Botwin : Hey, that bag looks a little small.

    Conrad Shepard : You never question Heylia's eyeballing. That's the rainman of weed right there.

  • Nancy Botwin : You listen, you stay away from my customer base, you don't deal to kids.

    Josh Wilson : They're too young to bleed, they're too young for weed, no grass on the field no grass will they yield.

    Nancy Botwin : You're a poet.

    Josh Wilson : You know it.

  • Nancy Botwin : Andy, today it was brought to my attention that the downside to this business is death, so right now I'm not thinking about "the bakery" I'm thinking about enrolling in dental hygiene school so my children aren't orphans.

    Andy Botwin : If anything happens to you, I will raise Silas and Shane as my own.

    Nancy Botwin : Ok, now I pledge never to die.

  • Nancy Botwin : I don't give a flying fuck if you do have cancer, put your tits away in front of my kid.

  • Nancy Botwin : I'm not a dealer, I'm a mother who happens to distribute illegal products through a sham bakery set up by my ethically questionable CPA and his crooked lawyer friend.

  • Nancy Botwin : Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?

    Celia Hodes : Well, technically, Nancy, Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.

  • Nancy Botwin : Andy, this is my business, it's nothing to do with you. Go downstairs and do what you do best, patrol the couch in your underwear.

  • Nancy Botwin : Nice, Shane goes on a paint rampage, gets suspended. The two of you ditch school to fuck in my guest room. I've got everything under control.

    Quinn : But don't you see, technically we're not under your roof.

  • Celia Hodes : [holds up a flyer]  Here. I'm posting these in the neighborhood. I tell you, I have a good mind to stay in a hotel until they catch that cougar. Though a part of me is hoping it will maul Dean, and I wouldn't want to miss that.

    Nancy Botwin : "What to do if you meet a mountain lion. Give the mountain lion some room. Don't make eye contact. Talk to the lion softly." Are you sure this isn't what to do if you *date* a mountain lion?

  • Celia Hodes : I followed Dean here, did you see him?

    Nancy Botwin : Yes, I did, they were playing poker

    Celia Hodes : Oh, great, now he's going to come home broke, stinking of marijuana. Guess that's better than oriental pussy.

  • Nancy Botwin : I can't believe I trust you with my drug money. You're an idiot.

    Doug Wilson : I'm an idiot *savant*.

  • Nancy Botwin : People got stoned for The Passion of the Christ? That's disturbing.

    Josh Wilson : It's not as disturbing as seeing it not stoned. Religion my ass, it's a straight-up snuff film.

  • Nancy Botwin : Obviously menopause has effected your sense of smell.

    Lupita : I don't smell with my coochie.

  • Nancy Botwin : I'm the suburban baroness of bud, Nancy.

  • Celia Hodes : Here's the thing, I really want to fuck around on Dean but the thought of putting one more cock into my mouth is just too depressing.

    Nancy Botwin : I'm not sure a vagina would be much of an improvement for you.

  • Nancy Botwin : You promised me no kids.

    Josh Wilson : Yeah, but they all want it, and they cry if you say no.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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