Duck, Duck, Goose! (2005)

D.C. Douglas: Jacob

Quotes 

• Jacob : Martini. Dry and dirty, like my mother.

• La Penis Woman : How come I never get to talk to the camera?

  Jacob : Because you scare people.

• Jacob : Did you know that Jesus was a black man?

  La Religious Girl : Excuse me?

  Jacob : Oh, yeah. Hair like wool, skin like bronze. It's in your Bible. Jesus probably looked more like Ike Turner, but without that "I'm gonna beat ya, woman" look in his eyes.

• Jacob : So you're charming and kind?

  C.B. : And you're startling and male.

  Jacob : There it is.