Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Jason Schwartzman: Gideon Graves

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gideon Gordon Graves : You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!

• Gideon Gordon Graves : Do you have any idea how long it took me to get all the evil exes' contact information so I could form this stupid league? Like, two hours! *Two hours!*

• [Ramona approaches Gideon seductively] 

  Gideon Gordon Graves : Yeah. Still my girl.

  Ramona V. Flowers : Let's both be girls.

  [She knees him in the groin] 

• Gideon Gordon Graves : [talking to Scott Pilgrim]  Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities, then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises... and a fast entrance into hell!

• [phone rings; Some Guy picks it up offscreen] 

  Some Guy : [whispering]  It's for Scott.

  Wallace Wells : [takes the phone from Some Guy and passes it to Scott]  It's for you, big guy.

  Scott Pilgrim : [takes the phone]  Hello?

  Gideon Gordon Graves : Hey, pal! I just wanna say I feel terrible about earlier. I don't want any hard feelings, so I figured, why not be the bigger man, and just give you a call.

  Scott Pilgrim : Is Ramona with you?

  Gideon Gordon Graves : I dunno...

  [to a brainwashed Ramona] 

  Gideon Gordon Graves : Are you with me?

  Ramona V. Flowers : [deadpan]  Yeah.

  [Scott screams in agony on phone] 

  Gideon Gordon Graves : Geez, buddy, it's gonna be all right!

  Scott Pilgrim : No, I just spilled hot cocoa on my crotch!

  Gideon Gordon Graves : Mm-hmm... Listen, as you know, I'm opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto, and the Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight, and it would feel really weird for all of us if you weren't there. They just did a soundtrack, and the acoustics here are *amazing*!

  Scott Pilgrim : [looking intense]  Yeah, maybe I'll see you there.

  Gideon Gordon Graves : I hope so amigo. I don't want any more bad blood between exes. What do you say?

  Scott Pilgrim : Mm-hmm

  Gideon Gordon Graves : OK, laytaz'!

  [hangs up] 

  Wallace Wells : What a perfect asshole.

  [Scott notices that Wallace was listening in on another phone] 

  Wallace Wells : Forget what I said earlier.

  [hangs up phone] 

  Wallace Wells : Finish him.

  [Scott dramatically gears up, and runs off to the Chaos Theatre for the "final level" as Wallace and Some Guy watch from inside] 

• Gideon Gordon Graves : [stabs Scott in the chest while he is caught off guard]  Game Over.

  [Scott falls over, dead] 

  Gideon Gordon Graves : Scotty, you can cheat on many girls as you like. But you can't... cheat... death.

• Scott Pilgrim : Can we please stop all this fighting! Nobody stole anybody. Knives, I dated you and then I dated Ramona. Okay?

  [beat; realizes what he said] 

  Scott Pilgrim : Maybe I forgot to tell Knives right away?

  Knives Chau : You cheated on me, Scott? You cheated on both of us?

  Ramona V. Flowers : You cheated on me with Knives?

  Scott Pilgrim : No, I cheated on Knives with you.

  Ramona V. Flowers : Is there a difference?

  Scott Pilgrim : [sheepishly]  You weren't wronged?

  [Scott is immediately stabbed in the back by Gideon] 

  Gideon Gordon Graves : [through gritted teeth]  Game over!

  [Scott falls to the ground, crumpled over - dead] 

  Gideon Gordon Graves : Scottie. You can cheat on these ladies all you want, but you can't... cheat... death.

• Gideon Gordon Graves : There's no use crying over spilled Coke, buddy.

• Gideon Gordon Graves : Are you still mad about the whole thing with The Guild?

  Scott Pilgrim : You mean The League?

  Gideon Gordon Graves : The Guild, League, whatever. It's ancient history.

  Scott Pilgrim : I'll show you how ancient of history it is!

• Gideon Gordon Graves : You know, we really should be thanking each other. I mean, if it wasn't for me, Ramona would have never been with you, but if it wasn't for you, she wouldn't have gotten back with me. So I guess it all shakes out, huh?

• Gideon Gordon Graves : You got to try and keep your emotions in check, man. Don't let what's past ruin your future.

• Gideon Gordon Graves : You're not cool enough for Ramona. You're zero! You're nothing! Me? I'm what's hip. I'm what's happening! I'm blowing up right now!

  Scott Pilgrim : You are blowing up. Right now!

• Gideon Gordon Graves : Are we done with the hugging and learning? I thought we had a fight going on here!

• Gideon Gordon Graves : You can defeat me, Scott, but can you defeat yourself?