Kevin Nealon considers cooking with wine and cross-country skiing across small countries.Kevin Nealon considers cooking with wine and cross-country skiing across small countries.Kevin Nealon considers cooking with wine and cross-country skiing across small countries.
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Kevin Nealon: Everybody manipulates everybody. That's the way it is. I used to be in advertising, and that was real deceptive, the way they manipulate people to get them to buy things. You know? But this is a lot more fun doing this kind of work- big bucks- because it's a better lifestyle. You know what I mean? Earlier tonight, I had dinner at this very fancy restaurant- Hooters- I forget the name of it, but, um, I want to tell ya, I was very impressed- cleavage- I mean just, first class all the way. A lot of people don't know this, but New York has so much cultural and historical diversity- strip clubs- y'know, I was, uh, talkin' to, uh, no seriously, I was talkin' to a friend earlier, um, this week- lap dance- and we were just talkin' about... how fresh the air smells- vomit- y'know, I don't know if it's that time of the year or what, but just walking around, it's just nice. Y'know, I went out to Queens, I don't care what you say about people in Queens; I think they're very sophisticated- white trash- I don't know what they do for a living. No, I think so. I don't know what they do for a living out there- slum lords- but I think they're very, very successful- drug dealers- and that's a good sign, you know what I mean? Like I said, I live in Los Angeles now, I live in a very ritzy neighborhood- trailer park- and y'know, I think it's true what they say about people in Los Angeles: They are... in really great shape- boob jobs- I don't know if it's from, you know, exercising, liposuction or what, but man, just healthy-looking, great looking soft skin- leather- and just an overall healthy attitude- Prozac- I think that's a nice sign. I love the big cities, because I'm a people watcher- peeping Tom- that's what I do. Y'know, I like watching people. And you can tell a lot about someone by their appearance, y'know? Like, take this guy, for example- pervert- I don't know him, but seems like a nice guy, obviously making a fashion statement- K-Mart- and that's good, y'know. And you can tell, just by looking at him, he's got a lot of self-pride- cheap bastard- and that's good. Not only self-pride, but he's got a pretty good handle on things- hung over. It's just the way I see people. And the same with this guy over here- stalker- I don't know him from Adam either, but obviously, a wonderful person- cross-dresser- and y'know, that's commendable. You deserve a lot of credit- big wedgie- I just like lookin' at people. You meet a lot of people doin' this, that's the fun thing. I was talkin' to these three ladies earlier tonight- hookers- and we thought maybe after the show... we thought maybe go out and get some coffee and just talk- hot sex- because ladies and gentlemen, I'm a people person- Jeffrey Dahmer- that's what I do. Standing ovation. Listen, I had a great time, I was very funny, thank you very much.