Waitress (2007)

Andy Griffith: Old Joe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Old Joe : [after reading a news column about a woman contemplating suicide]  Oh I love living vicariously through the pain and suffering of others.

• Old Joe : You with child?

  Jenna : Shh! Quiet!

  Old Joe : I seen that look on a woman's face before. Name was Annette. I made sweet sweet love to her all through the summer of 1948. She had that look on her face like you got all through the fall. I almost married her right up. She lost the baby, though. Close call.

• Old Joe : If I'd ever met a girl like you, Jenna, my whole life would have been different. You don't even know what you are deep inside. You're not just some little waitress. You understand what I'm saying?

  Jenna : Not at all, no.

  Old Joe : I'm saying, my whole life I spent lost. If a sign said "go this way", I'd go the other way. Time after time after time. I turned the wrong corner, made the wrong choice, went the wrong way, like a chicken without a head. You understand?

  Jenna : You was a chicken without a head?

  Old Joe : Pie lady, listen to me. This life will kill you. I'm saying, make the right choice. Start fresh, it's never too late. Start fresh.

  Jenna : I ain't got no money, Joe.

  Old Joe : Who the hell does anymore?

  Jenna : I'm about to have me a baby.

  Old Joe : I know you are, Jenna. I know you are. I was just dreaming a little for you, 'cause... all my dreams is gone.

• Old Joe : Give me a smile, Jenna. Nobody makes strawberry chocolate pie the way you do. Wednesday's my favorite day of the week 'cause I get to have a slice of it. I think about it as I'm waking up. Could solve all the problems with the world, that pie.

  Jenna : You're making too much of it. It's just a pie.

  Old Joe : Just a pie? It's downright expert, a thing of beauty. How each flavor opens itself one by one, like a chapter in a book. First the flavor of an exotic spice hits you, just a hint of it. Then you're flooded with chocolate, dark and bittersweet, like an old love affair. And finally strawberry, the way strawberry was always supposed to taste, but never knew how. In fact, I'll tell you what. Forget all the other stuff I ordered, just bring me the damn pie. That's all I want. I don't care if it isn't a well-balanced meal, just bring me the pie. Old Joe'll maybe not have much longer to live, you know?

  Jenna : Then I'd better bring you the pie right away.

  Old Joe : Yessum, you better.

• Old Joe : [chuckles]  I love living vicariously through the pain and suffering of others.

• Old Joe : [after Earl showed up and yelled at Jenna]  You wasn't exaggerating. Your husband *is* terrible.

• Jenna : Hi, Joe. How ya doing today, my friend? What can I get you?

  Old Joe : This is *my* pie diner. I own it.

  Jenna : I know you do, Joe.

  Old Joe : And I think it's warm in here. I know I'm warm.

  Jenna : I'll tell Cal, hon.

  Old Joe : They keep all my businesses too warm on the inside. My gas station, my supermarket, my laundromat. But this is my favorite business; Joe's Pie Shop. I'm Joe, and I will not tolerate it being too damn warm in here.

  Jenna : I hear ya, Joe.

  Old Joe : Turn the air on!

  Jenna : Yessiree, bub.

• Jenna : I'll go get you your water and juice with no ice but you gotta promise me you'll keep your mouth shut about this baby.

  Old Joe : What baby?

  Jenna : [pause]  Good man.

• Old Joe : Don't you have no home?

  Jenna : Excuse me, what?

  Old Joe : I'm wonderin' if you have to sleep outside my diner 'cause maybe you don't have no home.

  Jenna : I have a home.

  Old Joe : Right. And a bad husband, I remember. You got lipstick all over your face.

  Jenna : [embarrassed]  What?

  Old Joe : Your lipstick's all smudged like someone gave you a good one.