Dog Bites Man (2006– )

Andrea Savage: Tillie Sullivan

Photos 

Quotes 

• [at a racial sensitivity seminar] 

  Marty Shonson : Well, I have definitely looked down the double-barrel of the racist shotgun... in that I was made fun of a lot when I was a youngster for

  [pointing to his red hair] 

  Marty Shonson : the old cinnamon bush up top. And uh, you know they called me all kinds of names. You know: carrot top, cinnamon top, copper top, cheeto head, cheeto top, butt pirate, ginger snap.

  Kevin Beekin : I don't think, uh..."butt pirate" is referring to your red hair. It's a slang for gay people.

  Marty Shonson : I think it refers more to pirates being of Danish decent, the Vikings and whatnot, they were red-haired. And I think the "butt" part is just sort of adding insult to injury. You know, sort of a seaman taunt.

  Tillie Sullivan : It becomes the pirate, the reference is it's referring to pillaging butts.

• Tillie Sullivan : [at a racial sensitivity seminar]  I had a dream that I was having sex with a black man. I didn't know if that was racist - in my dream - to be so specific, or was that really open-minded because I was willing to have sex with him? And in the dream, he had sort of the stereotypical large penis... and I felt like that was racist. But in the dream it came out that he was dean of the Harvard law school... so then I thought maybe it balanced out.

• Kevin Beekin : [Kevin is planning to go undercover as a homosexual]  I don't know if I'm believable as a gay.

  Marty Shonson : Well, a lot of your fan mail does say "Kevin Beekin is a homo."

  Kevin Beekin : I'm gonna have to get inside the mind of a gay. Like, where do gays go?

  Tillie Sullivan : Uh, I think you could be a gay ordering food at a restaraunt. Start there.

  Kevin Beekin : Do they do that?

  Tillie Sullivan : I would assume so, right?

  Marty Shonson : Sure.

  Kevin Beekin : I don't know... what do they order?

  Tillie Sullivan : I don't know. Marty, find out what gay people eat.

  Marty Shonson : You got it.

• Tillie Sullivan : Ask him how many times he thinks a woman has to experiment before she's considered a lesbian.

  Kevin Beekin : Speaking on behalf of the lesbian community, how many acts... of lesbianics, I don't know the word. How many acts of lesbianics does it take before she's considered a lesbian?

  Gay Man : Without making anyone uncomfortable... I'd rather not try to speculate on that question.

  Tillie Sullivan : I heard it was five.

  Gay Man : I would agree with that, yeah.

  Kevin Beekin : Isn't it no longer considered experimenting once you know what it is?

• Alan Finger : You look nice, Tillie.

  Tillie Sullivan : Well thank you Allan! I appreciate that.

  Alan Finger : You're like a hooker. It's nice.