3rd Rock from the Sun (TV Series)
Dick's First Birthday (1996)
Jane Curtin: Dr. Mary Albright
Quotes
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Dr. Mary Albright : [Dick is smitten with a new co-ed] Oh, will you act your age?
Dr. Dick Solomon : What does my age have to do with it?
Dr. Mary Albright : Like you didn't know.
Dr. Dick Solomon : I don't know.
Dr. Mary Albright : Well, I do.
Dr. Dick Solomon : What are we talking about?
Dr. Mary Albright : All I know is that when I was Laurie's age, I did not appreciate having middle-aged men fawn over me.
Dr. Dick Solomon : [surprised] You were once her age?
Dr. Mary Albright : Yes, believe it or not.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Very well. Not it is.
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Dr. Mary Albright : I think grey hair makes you look distinguished.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with grey hair.
Dr. Mary Albright : I don't think so. Men look distinguished with grey hair. Women just look old.
Dr. Dick Solomon : When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.
Dr. Mary Albright : Good point! How old are you?
Dr. Dick Solomon : How old are you?
Dr. Mary Albright : You first.
Dr. Dick Solomon : No, you first.
Dr. Mary Albright : You.
Dr. Dick Solomon : [pauses for a moment] 42.
Dr. Mary Albright : Me, too!
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Dr. Mary Albright : If we're over the hill, we might as well enjoy the ride down.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Thank you for saying we.
Dr. Mary Albright : It just slipped out.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : You know, the light of the moon is so magical. It shows me what you must have looked like so many years ago.
Dr. Mary Albright : That was - almost beautiful.
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Dr. Mary Albright : [at a restaurant table a few feet away, Mary and Nina watch Dick make a fool of himself with a young graduate student] Exactly when does puberty end for a man?
Nina : Six months after death.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Dr Albright, have I been a perfect ass?
Dr. Mary Albright : Nobody's perfect.
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Dr. Mary Albright : I got you a birthday card.
[Hands it to him]
Dr. Dick Solomon : [Reading cockily] You look like a million dollars...
[Opens card]
Dr. Dick Solomon : Old an wrinkled...
[Outraged]
Dr. Dick Solomon : What kind of cruel hoax is this?
Dr. Mary Albright : It's a Hallmark...
Dr. Dick Solomon : A hallmark of humiliation!