- Sally Solomon: [Sally looks at the book Harry is reading] "The Official Boy Scout Guide Book". Who are the Boy Scouts?
- Harry Solomon: They're an elite, prepubescent paramilitary society, and I'm gonna follow their ways.
- Sally Solomon: But Harry, you're neither elite nor prepubescent.
- Harry Solomon: All in good time, Sally. All in good time.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Oh no. You ordered Surf and Turf, and they brought you steak and lobster. Waiter!
- Dr. Mary Albright: Dick, that's what Surf and Turf is.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I thought it was water and grass.
- Dr. Mary Albright: You can't save every living creature. Some live, some die, that's just life happening.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: That's just animals. What about us?
- Dr. Mary Albright: We are animals. We eat like animals, sleep like animals, have sex like animals...
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Oh yeah. Especially after a bottle of Tequila.
- Dr. Mary Albright: [Mary smiles knowingly] Oh yeah! Just be grateful you're at the top of the food chain, and nothing eats you.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [visibly shaken] There I was, zipping down the road, the radio blasting music, the wind whipping through my hair... And then...
- Sally Solomon: What happened?
- Dr. Mary Albright: Dick hit a chipmunk.
- Sally Solomon: You mean, like, one of those Disney rats?
- Tommy Solomon: Nina, I need a woman's advice about something: August is mad at me because invite her to this dance.
- Nina: Send her flowers.
- Tommy Solomon: She once said that flowers reminded her of the morbid stench of death.
- Nina: Then how about a nice gift, like a makeup kit?
- Tommy Solomon: She says that makeup is the arrogant misogynist's way of marking a woman as his property and turning her into, you know
- [indicating Nina]
- Tommy Solomon: , a vacuous plaything.
- Nina: I bet you two have a lot of fun!
- Dr. Mary Albright: Dick, this has been going on forever! First man invented the wheel, then he invented roadkill.
- Dr. Mary Albright: [Dick enters the office with a seeing-eye dog] Dick, where did you get that dog?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Some old guy with dark glasses was pushing her down the sidewalk with this metal harness!