3rd Rock from the Sun (TV Series)

Sensitive Dick (1997)

John Lithgow: Dr. Dick Solomon

Quotes 

• Judith Draper : After reviewing all the testimony, the disciplinary committee unanimously votes to admonish Dr. Solomon.

  Dr. Dick Solomon : What does that mean?

  Judith Draper : You're officially admonished.

  Dr. Dick Solomon : Does that come with a pay cut?

  Judith Draper : No, but if there's another violation, you will be censured.

  Dr. Dick Solomon : Does that come with a pay cut?

  Judith Draper : No, but if that fails to stop you, you will be sanctioned, which means a thirty day suspension.

  Dr. Dick Solomon : With pay?

  Judith Draper : Yes, with pay.

  Dr. Dick Solomon : Well, that sounds pretty good. Could I be sanctioned right now?

  Judith Draper : No, we're adjourned.

• [to Judith] 

  Dr. Dick Solomon : I don't need sensitivity training... you strident, power-mad tart!

• [to his students] 

  Dr. Dick Solomon : All right people, due to your staggering ineptitude, I'm issuing the following assignment. You will write a five page letter to your parents apologizing for wasting their money... and bring a stamp dammit, I'm not a post office!

• Dr. Dick Solomon : What is it with this planet's preoccupation with sensitivity? You should be able to have an open dialogue with anyone, like we do. We can say anything to each other and not take offense. For example, Tommy wouldn't object if I mentioned that he was a greasy little disappointment.

  Tommy Solomon : [matter-of-factly]  What's to argue? I mean, Sally couldn't dispute that she's a sadistic bimbo.

  Sally Solomon : [enthusiastically]  You got me! And Dick, you're a rubber-faced bag of wind.

  Dr. Dick Solomon : Well-said. And Harry, you're an idiot.

  Harry Solomon : [with pride]  Thank you, sir, may I have another.

• Dr. Dick Solomon : [appearing before a university committee investigating a complaint from his students]  I stand here accused of insensitivity. Oh, sure, I've tried to change my ways. I - I've cried, I've hugged, I've been hugged, and you know what I've discovered? I'm an offensive person! But in a tolerant society, is there no place for my kind? Why must everyone like me? Why can't we all just... not get along?

• [in a disciplinary hearing, Dick delivers a passionate defense on behalf of obnoxious people everywhere] 

  Dr. Dick Solomon : Where would you be without us, to provoke and - and - and enlighten you? To attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance.