- Sally Solomon: [Dick wants to impress Mary with expensive wine and food] Dick, why don't you just grab some microwave burritos and a couple of 'tall boys', and go for it?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Oh, Sally, you don't know the first thing about entertaining.
- Harry Solomon: Yeah, first ya gotta get some friends!
- Tommy Solomon: Yeah, good luck with that, Miss Personality.
- Sally Solomon: [with obvious contempt] Shut up, butt-rash, I'm workin' on it.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I miss the days of furtive looks across the office, passing notes in faculty meetings... oh, and the groping was always nice.
- Sally Solomon: Let me ask you something: If things were so great, why were you always making our lives miserable with your constant whining and complaining?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [like a spoiled child] Was not!
- Harry and Tommy together: Uh, huh. Was so!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Well, if I did, it's probably because I was filled with so much bliss, I didn't know where to shove it!
- [Sally, Harry and Tommy are inside Mary's house after their illegal entry, and Officer Don bursts through the door pointing his gun]
- Officer Don: Ass right there, freeze-hole.
- Sally Solomon: [calmly] Don, what are you doing here?
- Officer Don: Albright's silent alarm went off.
- Harry Solomon: I didn't hear anything.