- "B.A." Baracus: I hate dentists. And I hate driving with Murdock.
- "Howling Mad" Murdock: But you hate flying with Murdock more, don't you? Don't you?
- "Faceman" Peck: You know, I think my idea of having all the help wear bikini's is really gonna pay off...
- "Hannibal" Smith: We gotta get our hands on Joey's girl. She knows what we need to know.
- Sandy: I hear you can find her every morning taking her beauty swim at her private beach, usually without her clothes on.
- "Hannibal" Smith: Really? Perfect. Face, you go out and say hello.
- "Faceman" Peck: Why, you mean that sweet, beautiful creature who pulled a 357 Magnum on you?
- "B.A." Baracus: What is this, Hannibal?
- [throws him a newspaper]
- "Hannibal" Smith: It's today's paper.
- "B.A." Baracus: Right. Today's paper, which means today is the ninth. Which means I got here in a day.
- "Faceman" Peck: Well, what's a day or two among friends?
- "B.A." Baracus: A plane ride, to me!
- Denise: You okay?
- "Faceman" Peck: Oh yeah, my legs are just a little weak from two hours of dog paddling.
- Tina: Took you long enough. I was only going to give you five more minutes.
- "Faceman" Peck: With a body like she had? Heh, not a chance.
- Denise: I think he's having trouble breathing, he probably needs mouth to mouth.
- "Faceman" Peck: Ah yes, yes.
- Denise's Bodyguard: I know CPR, I can do it.
- "Faceman" Peck: Huh! Ah! I can breathe, I can breathe.
- "Faceman" Peck: [at the dentist] Aw, relax, relax! B.A. Dentists are our friends. And if you're real good, he, eh, might give you a sucker when you're done.
- "B.A." Baracus: A sucker is what I feel like for being here.
- Sandy: I don't know how we can ever pay you back for all you've done for us.
- "Hannibal" Smith: I got a tan, what more could I want?
- Sandy: And eh, I think I owe you an apology, Mr. Peck.
- "Faceman" Peck: What happened to 'Face'?
- Sandy: Well, I respect you now.
- "Faceman" Peck: [after being rescued from pretending to drown] My whole life was passing before my eyes... I saw my little red wagon, my G.I. Joe doll!