- Hannibal Smith: Now Face, if we had endless amounts of money at our disposal and we could do whatever we want, whenever we wanted, we wouldn't really need you, now would we?
- Faceman: Hm. That's why I stick around, Hannibal. You have such a wonderful way of making one feel so much a part of the team.
- B.A. Baracus: [referring to Murdock] Man's not long for this world, Hannibal.
- Hannibal Smith: I'm not sure he was ever in it.
- Doctor Forbes: [handing Face a ship's doctor's uniform] It's about, eh, as close to doctors as we get aboard this thing.
- Faceman: Ah.
- Doctor Forbes: We just dispense liniments for the sunburn and try and assure the people that there has never been a recorded case of death by seasickness.
- 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [B.A. has just driven right through the airplane they flew to Italy in] How could you do that to a poor, defenseless DC3? She didn't stand a chance!
- Faceman: I don't believe this...
- 'Howling Mad' Murdock: Now we're stuck in this country without any means of escape!
- Hannibal Smith: Now... the captain has a point there, BA. What have you got to say about it?
- B.A. Baracus: [Gleefully] We ain't flyin'!
- Faceman: Hannibal, your job is to help women in and out of the pool.
- Hannibal Smith: A pool boy?
- Faceman: We prefer to say pool persons.
- 'Howling Mad' Murdock: [pushing B.A. back to his cabin in a wheelchair] You are just like an old lady! By the time you're 45 you'll be wearing a dress and then NOBODY will want to dance with you!
- 'Howling Mad' Murdock: All the good costumes are taken, what am I supposed to be?
- B.A. Baracus: Hey Murdock, why don't you sit on Face's lap and go as Jerry Mahoney?
- [laughs]
- Faceman: It was like the Volkswagon at the circus -- guys just kept coming out, each one bigger than the last one.