- "Hannibal" Smith: Charlotte said you were having some trouble with the record company, and trouble provides our main source of employment.
- Jennifer Kim: Hi, I'm Jennifer Kim.
- Murdock: Hi. As soon as I find out who I am, you'll be the first to know, Jane.
- Murdock: Did you know that, that you inspire men? You are a natural leader and I... I stand in awe of the Barracan one.
- "B.A." Baracus: I have no time for the jibber jabber!
- "Hannibal" Smith: We never mess around with our clients. It muddies the atmosphere, it distorts our thinking, it is dangerous.
- "Faceman": That rule!
- "B.A." Baracus: Hannibal's right. Can't mess with these ladies.
- "Faceman": Aw, come on, guys, rules were made to be broken.
- "Hannibal" Smith: Noses are also made to be broken, right, Face?
- Murdock: [to B.A] Well, I just want you to know that I think that you are one stupendous mudsucking wonder. You are a man that somebody can admire and I look up to your goodness.
- Zeke Westerland: Might be, we gotta sing a little different tune, now.
- "Hannibal" Smith: You don't by any chance happen to know 'Chicken in a breadbox', do ya?
- "Hannibal" Smith: [on the phone] Zeke, you stooped lower than I thought.
- Zeke Westerland: [chuckles wickedly] Son, I'm so low I can walk under a swamp alligator with my hat on.
- [more chuckles]
- "Faceman": Yould you happen to have any eggs in your refrigerator?
- Charlotte King: Are you hungry?
- "Hannibal" Smith: He wants to practice his juggling.
- "Faceman": [after Hannibal spray paints Zeke's clothes blue] Why blue?
- "Hannibal" Smith: Because they were out of green paint.