- General: These men have been wanted for over ten years. All in all, they've made a fine bunch of jackasses out of all of us, and I want it to stop now. I want you to find The A-Team and bring 'em in. You were the best troubleshooter in the past two wars.
- Col. Roderick Decker: Until extreme political pressures knocked the hat off my career, and any possibility of furthering my rank.
- [destroys a target with his rifle]
- Col. Roderick Decker: It seems the very methods that made me, eh an embarassment and shuffled me off to the side are the exact reasons I'm being considered the best man for this job.
- General: I'm not saying...
- Col. Roderick Decker: We both know what you're saying, General, so let's not dance around the floor once. Everyone heard the reports from 'Nam on these guys. They were the best, because they're fast, sharp, and unorthodox. The way to catch men like this are to play by their rules, which means... there are none.
- General: What I'm interested in, Colonel, are results. I don't expect detailed reports on the whats, hows, or whens of their apprehension, I just want to know that it's done.
- Daniel Running Bear: Are you the only hot dog vendor here in the park?
- "Hannibal" Smith: Do you see any other hot dog vendors?
- Daniel Running Bear: No.
- "Hannibal" Smith: Ah, well you won't. I got contract for the city.
- Daniel Running Bear: Could I have a hot dog, please?
- "Hannibal" Smith: Are you kiddin'? You mean a luke-warm dog. I just fired her up.
- Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Once again, the mysterious Range Rider sets out on another thrilling adventure with his trusted steed Thunder who...
- [B.A. pulls off Murdock's paper mask]
- Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Who will remain behind just this one time.
- Face: Well guys, shall we saddle up?
- [suddenly, machine gun fire erupts from outside]
- Col. Decker: [using a bull horn] This is Col. Decker of the U.S. army. You are completely surrounded.
- "Hannibal" Smith: Ah, no kidding.
- "Faceman": Colonel Decker, do you hear that?
- Amy Allen: You know this guy?
- "Faceman": Everyone in Vietnam knew him. He's one of those guys who always got the job done under any circumstances and he never lost any sleep over how he did it.
- "B.A." Baracus: Yeah, Hannibal and this guy mixed it up once in the Doom Club.
- Amy Allen: The Doom Club?
- "Hannibal" Smith: Yeah, the Da Nang officers' open mess.
- Amy Allen: So what, you didn't like the way he sugared his coffee?
- "Hannibal" Smith: No, I didn't like the way he blew up Cong hospitals like it was his favorite sport.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: [looking at a herd of horses] I don't know how the rest of you feel, but I wouldn't sleep well tonight, not if those animals are gonna wind up on the sticky side of a postage stamp.
- Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: I'm warning you, I've had enough of you talking to your invisible friends.
- Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: [points to Ed the horse] Does he look invisible, huh? You can't see him?
- "B.A." Baracus: [meeting Hannibal by the prop hot dog cart] Aw Hannibal, how many more cold hot dogs do I have to eat? I'll save this one for later.
- [puts it in his pocket]
- "Faceman": [posing as Hollywood producer 'The Jer'] Gretel, babe, keep the Mick company, huh, The Jer will be back in a second.
- The Mick: What a guy!
- "Faceman": I needed a showpiece, see, so I scrabled around looking for any piece of junk I could get my hands on, and I come across this little number for ten grand. Made by a couple of film students. So, I dub it in German, see, then I subtitle it back into English and tell everyone I brought it from overseas. Huh? The critics see that, and right away you're looking down the business end of a good review.
- Stryker: What are you gonna do about these guys we told you about, Bus?
- Bus Carter - Rancher: Who, that bunch of masked yahoo's riding around like the high plains drifters or somebody?