- "Hannibal" Smith: You know, this worked great in a movie I once did.
- Face: 'The Giant Gila Monster vs. Billy the Kid', right?
- "Hannibal" Smith: You remember that one?
- Face: Who could forget it?
- Bus Carter - Rancher: Whoever heard of bandits on horseback in the nineteen eighties?
- Stryker: Well, according to Wesley, the came riding down on the train like they were the James gang or something.
- "Hannibal" Smith: [to Bus Carter] We're here to file a grievance against the Carter Railway Line for the Wild Horses of America, Western Devision.
- Face: Not to be confused with the Horse's Butts of America, of which we hear you are a member of long standing.
- Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: [Murdock mounts a horse like a real pro] Where did he learn how to do that?
- Daniel Running Bear: Just like the real Range Rider.
- Bus Carter - Rancher: Well, well, if it ain't old Buffalo Bill himself.
- Col. John "Hannibal" Smith: It wouldn't do any good trying to call you names, 'cause I can't imagine any name you haven't been called before.
- Shelley - Daniel Running Bear's Nephew: Hey, he forgot his mask!
- Reporter Amy Amanda Allen: Nah, he didn't forget his mask. He just left it behind. Cause his job here is done.
- Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: Daniel, will you say goodbye to, to Ed for me, and will you tell him that he ever needs me, if he, if he ever feels the need to talk to anyone, about... I'll always lend an ear.
- Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: Good, cause you ain't got no brains!
- Face: B.A. stop moving, you're going to rub me raw with these ropes.
- Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus: I ain't moving, the train's moving.
- Face: Oh great, just what we need, an Abbott and Costello joke.
- "Hannibal" Smith: [hears the helicopter] There's Murdock.
- [picks up a board]
- Face: B.A.?
- "Hannibal" Smith: Nighty night.
- Capt. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock: [to Lane Carter] I need a distraction. I want you to count to three, no... five, very slowly, and then scream as loud as you can.