Michael C. Maronna: Big Pete Wrigley

Quotes 

• Big Pete Wrigley : [narrating]  In case you were wondering, by the time you're fourteen years old, you'll have eaten over 15,000 meals, and when you look back at all the best meals you have ever eaten, I'll bet my big toe not one of them started with a tray.

• Big Pete Wrigley : [narrating]  The next two words that came spilling out of my mouth might be the two scariest words a kid can ever utter.

  Big Pete Wrigley : WHAT test?

• Big Pete Wrigley : [narrating]  Just the thought of LOOKING at Beardsley's legs was enough to make anyone's gut juice curdle. That's because they're covered with big varicose veins. And if you look at 'em up close, you'll see that the veins on her legs look just like a road map of central Iowa. On the news one day, I heard about a new highway they'd just built through Iowa. The next day, Beardsley had a new vein in just the right place.

• Big Pete Wrigley : [narrating]  Just for the record, you should know that meatloaf goes by several other names: pepper steak, swiss steak, cube steak, and salisbury steak. That's what the cafeteria ladies call "variety."

• Big Pete Wrigley : [narrating, while eating stick bars of chocolate cream, leaving chocolate all over his mouth]  Ok, so maybe I was wrong.