- Ruth Rempley: We were drowning. Swinging saved us.
- Edith Bunker: I think I would rather have drowned.
- Archie Bunker: Edith, you know you better keep a sharp look-out.
- Edith Bunker: What for?
- Archie Bunker: For the dingbat catcher, Edith. 'Cuz one of these days he's gonna come around and throw a net over you.
- Michael 'Meathead' Stivic: Well, we gotta get going.
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Uh, yeah. Goodnight Ma!
- Edith Bunker: Have a nice time!
- Archie Bunker: Where are they going tonight?
- Edith Bunker: Oh, they're going to see the Russian ballet.
- Archie Bunker: Aw jeez, wouldn't you know -- wasting money to see some Communist fruit leapin' around in his pantyhose.
- Edith Bunker: To the Rempleys -- "But I read the letter today, and when you read tomorrow today, tomorrow's tomorrow."
- Edith Bunker: What story do you want? Why they are here or why they shouldn't be here?
- Archie Bunker: Why they are here. I can tell you why they shouldn't be here.
- Edith Bunker: Oh? Then why don't you tell me because I won't know until tomorrow.
- Archie Bunker: Maybe you'd like to drink a little Fleishmann's and ginger very smooth?
- Curtis Rempley: No no, we don't drink. It dulls the senses.
- Archie Bunker: Oh, funny, it just has the opposite effect on me. A couple of belts and I'm rarin' to go.
- Ruth Rempley: Then have a few, by all means.
- Ruth Rempley: There was a time when our marriage got a little boring, a little humdrum, a little...
- Curtis Rempley: Tedious,
- Ruth Rempley: Then we discovered swinging,
- Archie Bunker: Swinging? Is that what you call it?
- Curtis Rempley: Yeah, why? What do you call it?
- Archie Bunker: Communism!