American Dad! (TV Series)

Star Trek (2005)

Scott Grimes: Steve Smith

Quotes 

• Francine Smith : [to Steve]  You bastard! That's what I said to my old ugly hairdo. What's wrong, honey?

  Steve Smith : Aw, I hate being a famous author. Do I really have to go on Cap'n Monty's?

  Francine Smith : Oh. Well, no. I suppose not.

  Steve Smith : Thanks, Mom.

  Francine Smith : Oh, Steve, just curious. When did you stop loving Mommy?

  Steve Smith : What?

  Francine Smith : 'Cause if you loved me, you wouldn't want me to have ugly hair, but do whatever makes you happy. I have to go put some ointment on that hideous cesarean scar I have because of you.

  Steve Smith : But Hayley was the cesarean.

  Francine Smith : Oh, that's right. With you, I just tore from my "V" to my "A." Good night.

• Stanley Smith : [to Steve]  I look around me and I see it isn't so!

  Steve Smith : What?

  Stanley Smith : I mean, why'd you cheat?

  Steve Smith : I'm sorry. It's just... creative writing is hard, I can't do it.

  Stanley Smith : Can't? We don't live in Ameri-can't, Steve we live in Ameri-ca. No, no, no, wait, we live in Ameri-can. No, wait, that's not right. We are Ameri-can. W... where was I going with this?

  Steve Smith : Um, I said creative writing is hard...

  Stanley Smith : Oh, yeah, yeah. Perseverance, Steve. It's all about perseverance and if I Ameri-can't teach you about it, I have a friend who Ameri-will. Well, that sounded good. Had a bumpy start there, but I think I pulled it together.

• Steve Smith : [narrating]  So now I was a published writer, but my life had become boring. As boring as a bad metaphor or a simile. Whatever, I'm not a writer.

• Steve Smith : [Giving advice to a fan]  It's real easy. Just write something and it'll get published. Any idiot can do it.

• Steve Smith : [to Roger]  Wait, you were trying to kill me? So this is all your fault.

  Roger the Alien : Oh, yeah. Blame the alien. The cops will eat that up. Sorry, pal, you're going to jail where they're gonna take your cherry Jell-O away in the lunch line after you're raped in the shower.

• Steve Smith : [narrating]  The court ruled in my favor and I was finally free of my parents. Did the book make me rich and popular? Yeah. Did it all go to my head? Oh, yeah. Did I start talking like Robert Evans? You bet your ass I did. Did I even know who Robert Evans was? Not by a long shot.