James Patrick Stuart: Keith

Quotes 

• Jessica Green : All of these resumes are impressive.

  Andy Richter : You know, eh, Ted has five years experience and he's been black his whole live, which has not been easy in such a racist society.

  Wendy McKay : My candidate's a woman from Saudi Arabia. She watched as her mother was stoned to death for driving a car. A bumper car.

  Byron Togler : You know, I know that we're trying to do a good thing, but I think that it's terrible putting people in racial catagories like this.

  Andy Richter : Let me guess, your guy is white?

  Byron Togler : No. My blind guy is white.

  Keith Richards : I found a one armed, gay, native American little person.

  Wendy McKay : Are you kidding me?

  Keith Richards : Unfortunately he wasn't a technical writer. He just wanted to meet another one armed, gay, native American little person. Anybody knows anybody?

• Keith Richards : Hey, honey.

  Wendy McKay : [unusually deep voice]  Good morning, Keith.

  Keith Richards : Are you okay?

  Wendy McKay : Oh, I'm fine. I'm participating in a drug study for Pickering's pharmaceutical division. They're paying me three grand to use this antihistamine for six weeks which apparently turns people into Demi Moore.

  Keith Richards : You're testing drugs? Well I gotta tell you sweety, I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean is it safe? Are there any other side effects?

  Wendy McKay : My breasts are larger and I have an increased libido.

  Keith Richards : Well, if you really need the money...