- Andy Richter: So which one is Ramona? Is she the one with the ears?
- Keith Richards: I think everyone who works here has ears.
- Andy Richter: We have to get her a present too? Hey, what if my present is not getting drunk and hitting on her mom?
- Keith Richards: I'll split that with you.
- Andy Richter: Besides, it's not a good idea to sleep with your co-workers, remember? I hear that's what broke up the Osmonds...
- Keith Richards: Lori likes you.
- Andy Richter: Lori likes everybody. At the last Christmas party she 'liked' Tim Stalin's brains out on the xerox machine.
- Andy Richter: [Andy and Byron aren't getting anywhere with women, so they get drunk instead] Y'know what, women are a big distraction. I say we're better off without them.
- Byron Togler: The Pope has the right idea: cool pad, comfortable clothes, no bossy women around to question his infallibility.
- Andy Richter: Yeah. Y'know who else? The Pope.
- Byron Togler: OK, now, see, that's where we disagree.
- Andy Richter: Me, too.