- Angel: I'm just asking you not to go in there.
- Kate Lockley: Where are you going?
- Angel: In there.
- Kate Lockley: Well, I'll tell you what, I can go wherever I want, oh, and you can ah, go to Hell!
- Angel: [sighs] Been there, done that.
- Angel: I know you guys have been working hard. I mean, - you've been cooped up inside a lot. And to show my appreciation I was thinking, - the night being, you know, young and all - that the three of us - could - well, should, - You know, maybe, - go out, - you know,
- [awkward pause]
- Angel: ... for fun.
- Cordelia: Or we can go home.
- Allen Francis Doyle: And you can sit in the dark alone.
- Angel: [breathing a sigh of relief] God, yes! Thank you.
- Cordelia: Hey, you look troubled. Or is that just your lazy eye? Anyway, call us, we're very discreet.
- Angel: We're on the same side.
- Kate Lockley: You're telling me you're an investigator?
- Angel: More or less.
- Kate Lockley: Where's your license?
- Angel: That's the "less" part.
- Cordelia: What's with those vision things of yours?
- Allen Francis Doyle: Well, they're messages I get, you know, from the higher powers, whoever they are. You know, it's my gift.
- Cordelia: If that was my gift, I'd return it.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Tell her what a great guy I am.
- Angel: I barely know you.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Well perfect, that should make it easier for you then.
- Angel: This socializing thing is brutal. I mean, I was young, once. I used to go to bars. It was never like this.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Nah, you used to go to taverns, man. Small towns, everybody used to know each other.
- Cordelia: Yeah, like high school. It's easy to date there. I mean, we all had so much in common. Being monster food every other week, for instance.
- Cordelia: Demons. Is there anything more disgusting?
- Allen Francis Doyle: You think so?
- Cordelia: Come on. Okay, look at this one. This demon wears a wreath of intestines around its head. I mean, honestly, what kind of statement is this thing trying to make?
- Kate Lockley: What do you do?
- Angel: Do?
- Kate Lockley: For a living.
- Angel: I uh, well, basically I'm, uh, I help... I'm a veterinarian.
- Cordelia: I guess the single life's particularly tough on you.
- Angel: Why?
- Cordelia: Well, a couple hundred years ago, the only thing you had to worry about was a hangover. Today, 'cause of your curse thingy, you can't sleep with anyone or else you might feel a moment of true happiness and lose your soul, become evil - again - and kill everyone.
- Angel: Thanks, Cordelia. I always appreciate your perspective.
- Cordelia: No problem. Hey, the last thing I want is to show up at the office and find that I'm working for a homicidal monster.
- Angel: [to Doyle] Where'd you pick up computer skills?
- Cordelia: Downloading pictures of naked women?
- Allen Francis Doyle: Well, that's more or less accurate.
- Allen Francis Doyle: This isn't a marketing seminar, princess. You know, we need to operate a little bit more below radar.
- Cordelia: What radar?
- Allen Francis Doyle: The police. You know the service our friend Angel provides might put someone in mind of the "V" word.
- Cordelia: Vampire?
- Allen Francis Doyle: No, vigilante.
- Kate Lockley: Way to come off like a drunken slut. Slut's better than a hypocrite, though, right? Moving up.
- Angel: You're kinda hard on yourself.
- Kate Lockley: Well, I'm a self-flagellating-hypocrite-slut.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Everyone just simmer down here, okay? Violence is not gonna solve a thing, alright?
- [head butts the guy]
- Allen Francis Doyle: On the other hand, it's kind of festive.
- Angel: Look, if you ever need me, or if I can help you in anyway...
- [Gives her a card]
- Kate Lockley: [Looks at the card] What is this, a lobster?
- Allen Francis Doyle: Great idea! Calling cards. It's not like you have a signal folks can shine in the sky when ever they need help, you know?
- Angel: [Angel takes a card] Hey, look at that, there is our number. It's right next to a... a um - a - a butterfly?
- Allen Francis Doyle: [Looks a Cordy's face then back down at the card he is holding] It's obviously not a butterfly, you idiot. It's a - a bird. No, no, wait, it's an owl. A - a bird that hunts at night. Brilliant! It's a- a...
- Cordelia: [Interrupting angrily] It's an angel!
- Allen Francis Doyle: You need to chat people up a little bit more casual-like, you know? "Hi, what's your name? How's life treatin' ya? Wh-What's that, you say? Minions from hell getting' you down?"
- Cordelia: Excuse me, but I am an actress, a student of the human animal. I don't have to talk to people to know their story. Jazz Hands, over there? Mama's boy, Peter Pan complex. Self-absorbed closet dyke with a big The World Owes Me chip on her shoulder. And check out Sarah, Plain and Tall. Has or comes from big money.
- Allen Francis Doyle: How do you know all that?
- Cordelia: Well, you've gotta be rich to snag the Calvin Klein model she's leaving with.
- Cordelia: It's a parasite, moves from body to body, and when it starts to leave one for the next, not gonna gag here, but the first one goes kerplooey pretty fast.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Yep. Curdles like cream on a hot day.
- Cordelia: I believe I covered that with non-dairy "kerplooey"?
- Bartender: Kate. The usual?
- [She pulls out her badge and shows it to him]
- Bartender: ... That's no your usual.
- Kate Lockley: Every now and then I'm in the mood for something different.
- [Kate has caught Angel bending over a dead body]
- Angel: Kate! I know what this looks like...
- Kate Lockley: [pulling her gun and showing her badge] So do I.
- [First lines]
- [Angel is, characteristically, moping in the dark in his office when Doyle comes in]
- Allen Francis Doyle: Hey, you know, maybe we should go over this thing again of you getting out in the world and involving yourself with people. It's Friday night. It's the most social night of the week! A couple of lookers like us should be out there enjoying the nightlife. Not sitting here in the dark like some kind of...
- Angel: ...some kind of vampire?
- Allen Francis Doyle: Well, yeah. I was going to say slacker, but, yeah, to you, Mr. Obvious. You got to come out, man!
- Angel: Why?
- Allen Francis Doyle: Because we deserve a night of fun, don't you think? I mean, it breaks up those nights of death and mayhem. Plus, we could toast the new business, you know, the three of us.
- [He whistles and tilts his head towards the outer office]
- Angel: Yeah, Doyle, if you want to ask Cordelia out, just do it yourself.
- Allen Francis Doyle: I don't even know if she likes me, man - unless you put a word in for me - you know, just tell her what a great guy I am!
- Angel: I barely know you.
- Allen Francis Doyle: Perfect. That should make it easier for you, then.