Arrested Development (TV Series)

Altar Egos (2004)

Jason Bateman: Michael Bluth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maggie Lizer : I'm blind!

  Michael : I'm wasted!

• [George Sr. has been offered a plea bargain nobody has read] 

  Michael : All right, listen, this is all getting a little crazy. We cannot accept their plea if we don't even know what the plea is.

  Barry Zuckerkorn : Do you want to read it?

  Michael : No, it is pretty thick. Maybe we should just take the plea.

  Barry Zuckerkorn : Oh, I could kiss you on the nuts!

  Michael : We just gotta hope that... what?

• [after a one-night stand] 

  Gob : You should have stuck around to see me get some major action. From a major blonde. Who just "majored" in marine biology, if you know what I mean.

  Michael : No, I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.

• George Sr. : Next time this happens, I may not have a son in law to offer...

  Michael Bluth : Well, I'm not...

  [pauses] 

  Michael Bluth : OFFER?

  George Sr. : Offer me counseling. He should have stayed a shrink.