Batman Beyond (TV Series)

The Eggbaby (2000)

Will Friedle: Terry McGinnis, Batman

Quotes 

• Terry McGinnis : It will have to wait til tonight. I have to get to class. It's family studies and I'm failing.

  Bruce Wayne : How does someone fail family studies?

• Bruce Wayne : Do you have to keep lugging that thing around with you?

  Terry McGinnis : I need the grade.

  Bruce Wayne : Even real parents with real children find ways to get away for a night.

  Terry McGinnis : I tried leaving it with my mom, but she said she was too young to be a grandmother.

  Bruce Wayne : What about your brother?

  Terry McGinnis : I tried that, too, then I caught him shooting rubber bands at it. Hey, you know, maybe you could...

  [Bruce glares] 

  Terry McGinnis : Never mind.

• Bruce Wayne : What's going on there? Is that a baby?

  Batman : Um...

  Bruce Wayne : You brought a *baby* with you?

  Batman : It's not what you think. Really.

  Bruce Wayne : Terry, is there something you need to tell me?

  Batman : It's not a child. It's... turn on your vidlink.

  [Bruce does so] 

  Batman : See? It's not a real baby.

  Bruce Wayne : Why am I not reassured?

• Blade : And how's our little A+ doing?

  Terry McGinnis : He's sleeping. You'll hardly know he's around.

  Blade : Forget it. Jurgen has this new 'Vette I want to check out.

  Terry McGinnis : I want a divorce!

• Terry McGinnis : Ma Mayhem?

  Bruce Wayne : A tabloid gave her that name. It was the golden age of alliteration.

  Terry McGinnis : So what do you want me to do? Wait until she tries to fence the ruby?

  Bruce Wayne : I have a feeling she'll be holding on to it. There was another robbery a week ago.

  Terry McGinnis : More rubies?

  Bruce Wayne : Exactly.

  Terry McGinnis : What is she going to do them all?

  Bruce Wayne : Don't know. But I have a feeling she not making slippers.

  Terry McGinnis : Slippers? From rubies?

  Bruce Wayne : Hm. Before your time.

• Ma Mayhem : This is getting old, Batman.

  Terry McGinnis : Look who's talking.

• Terry McGinnis : No sign of him anywhere. I've lost him.

  Bruce Wayne : Him? That's a doll you're talking about, not a life.

  Terry McGinnis : It's my life if it's lost. I'll have to take family studies again. Have you ever taken family studies?

• Batman : Poor kid's gonna cry 'til he shuts down.

  Bruce Wayne : Its cries are computer-generated, aren't they?

  Batman : Yeah. So?

  Bruce Wayne : That would mean the cries would have certain quantifiable digital properties.

  Batman : Then I can set the Batmobile to scan for them, can't I?

  Bruce Wayne : Uh-huh. Unless they've already made an omelet out of him.

  Batman : [insulted]  Oh, hey!

• Bruce Wayne : My instruments say you're only doing 180. Is there a problem?

  Batman : Uh... she's feeling a little sluggish tonight. Didn't want to push it.

  Bruce Wayne : [hearing the eggbaby fuss]  What was that?

  Batman : Nothing.

• Ma Mayhem : Ha. The tramp. Get it off her.

  [Slim studies the case] 

  Ma Mayhem : Carl.

  Slim : [Carl smashes it]  There could have been an alarm.

  Ma Mayhem : There wasn't. Now, let's get out of here before pointy ears shows his mug again.

  Batman : Too late.

• Ms. Pinto : Each of your eggbabies has a built-in computer, which registers the amount of care or lack of care it's given. These readings will determine your grades.

  [Nelson tickles his, and it giggles] 

  Ms. Pinto : As you can see, the babies exhibit a wide range of emotions and expressions of need. It's your job to fulfill those needs.

  Nelson Nash : Ms. Pinto, what happens if we drop it?

  Ms. Pinto : [demonstrating]  You fail.

  [Blade accidentally nudges hers off the desk; as Terry catches it, it begins crying] 

  Ms. Pinto : They're babies, Mr. McGinnis. You must be gentle with them.

  Terry McGinnis : How do I turn it off?

  Ms. Pinto : You can't. But you can quiet it down by rocking it, just like a real baby.

  Nelson Nash : Yeah, McGinnis, get with the program.

• Bruce Wayne : It's the one piece they haven't gotten yet. Part of a display at the Museum of Fashion. You think baby could keep its mouth shut for one night?

  Terry McGinnis : I gave it a double feeding, changed it, kept it awake all afternoon. Believe me, it'll be off in nap city for hours.

• Bruce Wayne : Turns out she's not stealing just any rubies. They're all part of a set she stole once before. And now that she's out of prison, she wants them back.

  Terry McGinnis : So much for rehabilitation.

  Bruce Wayne : Ma's very determined. And that makes her and her boys very dangerous. Your ride's on its way.

  Terry McGinnis : I'll meet it on the roof.

• Blade : Here. You take him.

  Terry McGinnis : Blade, you can't just...

  Blade : I didn't realize how much it cried. Besides, I have a date with Jurgen tonight. We can't exactly take the thing along, can we?

  Terry McGinnis : But I had it all day, and I've got something important to do.

  Blade : I don't care.

• Nelson Nash : Something's wrong. He's not eating. Why isn't he eating?

  Terry McGinnis : Maybe because you're trying to feed him through his nose.

• Max : Here's the bio and civics.

  Nelson Nash : Thanks, hon. How about the math?

  Max : It's coming. Stop nagging.

  Terry McGinnis : I get it. You're doing his homework so you don't have to take care of the baby.

  Max : We opted for the traditional marriage: one breadwinner, one homemaker.

  Nelson Nash : Beats algebra.