Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Eternal Youth (1992)

Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: Alfred Pennyworth

Quotes 

• Bruce Wayne : [on the phone]  I don't care how much money we'll lose! I won't have Wayne Enterprises involved with an operation that destroys a rainforest! Shut it down, or you're *gone*!

  [he hangs up and switches to his Batman voice] 

  Bruce Wayne : One of my greedy directors made a deal with a slash-and-burn outfit in the Amazon.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Well, it's fortunate you learned of the deal in time to stop it.

  Bruce Wayne : I hate when things slip by me.

• [Bruce offers Alfred and Maggie his tickets to a spa getaway] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : [stiffly]  I'm afraid it's quite out of the question.

  [cut to Alfred riding shotgun in Maggie's car] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : [grumbling]  I've been Shanghaied.

• Maggie Page : [in the hospital]  Alfred, do you realize this is the second weekend in a row we've spent together? This relationship is branching out.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Maggie, please. After our encounter with "Joan of Bark" the last thing I want to be reminded of is plants.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Good to see you, sir.

  Batman : You too, Alfred. What's with the jungle?

  Alfred Pennyworth : Oh, I thought this drab old cave could use a little color. How does it look?

  Batman : Green.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Yes, so lovely.

  [sighing contentedly] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : I feel all this decorating has given me a dreadful thirst.

  Batman : What's that?

  Alfred Pennyworth : Special spa water, sir. With a drop or two of Dr. Demeter's formula. Wonderful stuff, this demetrite.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Yes, Master Bruce, I did ask about that lady, as you requested. But it seems she left by herself two weekends ago. But why anyone would want to leave this place is beyond me.

  Bruce Wayne : [hearing him chortle]  Alfred, are you okay?

  Alfred Pennyworth : Never better, sir. Everywhere I turn, I see another sign of nature's...

  [seeing Maggie in a mud bath] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : ...uh, beauty. I assure you that when I return, I'll be feeling like a new man.

• Violet : Hello, Mr. Wayne. I'm Violet.

  Lily : And I'm Lily.

  Violet : And we'd like to invite you...

  Lily : ...to a free weekend at...

  Violet , Lily : The Eternal Youth Spa.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Oh, my. They even speak in unison.

• Maggie Page : [watching the Eternal Youth video]  You might want to try this, Bruce, with your late nights and all.

  Bruce Wayne : My weekends are shot, Maggie. But if you and Alfred would like to go in my place...

  Alfred Pennyworth : Uh, thank you, sir, but we couldn't possibly accept. It-It's much too generous.

  Bruce Wayne : I thought they said it was free.

  Maggie Page : They did. Oh, Alfie, don't be an old fogey. A little fresh air would do us both some good, and you have been promising to take me somewhere.