Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)
If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich? (1992)
Kevin Conroy: Batman, Bruce Wayne
Photos
Quotes
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The Riddler : You may not believe in Minotaurs, either, but you'll still have to answer the riddle.
Minotaur : I have millions of eyes, yet I live in darkness. I have millions of ears, yet only four lobes. I have no muscles, yet I rule two hemispheres. What am I?
Batman : That's simple: the human brain.
[the Minotaur robot shuts down]
Batman : It has millions of visual and auditory nerves, four lobes, two hemispheres, and it's the only thing Edward Nygma respects.
The Riddler : A lucky guess, that's all, but it won't save you, Batman!
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[last lines]
Dick Grayson : But that creep Mockridge got to pocket a cool ten mil from the buyout. What a burn!
Bruce Wayne : Maybe. But we've searched everywhere for the Riddler, and he's still out there.
[Mockridge is shown, shivering with fear, locking five separate deadbolts on his front door, then tip-toeing to his bedroom, carrying a shotgun]
Bruce Wayne : [voice-over] Mockridge may have his money, but he won't be sleeping well at night.
[Still shivering, Mockridge looks nervously under the bed, then puts down his shotgun and climbs into bed. He turns out the light and lies awake, staring at the ceiling]
Bruce Wayne : [voice-over] How much is a good night's sleep worth? Now there's a riddle for you.
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[as Batman and Robin enter the "Riddle of the Minotaur" maze]
The Riddler : But remember: you'll have to answer the riddle of the Minotaur, too.
Batman : I can hardly wait.
[to Robin]
Batman : How far did you say you'd gotten in the game?
Robin : Gee, I'm not sure. Maybe halfway?
Batman : Already I love this.
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Batman : I'll find Mockridge if I have to tear this place apart, Nygma.
The Riddler : I doubt it, I made sure the perils are quite lethal. You have eight minutes, gentlemen, then Mockridge becomes the only good corporate shark: a dead one.
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Robin : We've gotta use one of these keys.
Batman : Yes, but which one? And why are they labeled A, C, and D?
Robin : Don't look at me.
Batman : Let's try D.
Robin : [as he does so, two circular blades fly towards them] Look out!
[they barely manage to stay out of the way]
Robin : Try another one.
Batman : Okay. "A" this time.
Robin : No, wait! Turn that key, and there'll be three blades.
Batman : But how do you...
Robin : It's the "C" key. Trust me.
[turning the key, the door opens]
Robin : It's a musical puzzle. The key of D has two sharps. The key of A has three.
Batman : But the key of C has no sharps.
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Dick Grayson : I guess the mayor's happy about this.
Bruce Wayne : Bringing in $5.5 million a year in new jobs will do that.
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Batman : Doesn't Mockridge own a club downtown called the Wasteland?
Dick Grayson : The Wasteland! Oh!
Batman : Right. The Wasteland.
Dick Grayson : I mean in the game. It's a dead end, see?
Batman : Come on. Daniel Mockridge is walking into a trap.
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[after Batman re-wires the Hand of Fate to fly over the maze to the center]
The Riddler : That is grand-scale cheating, Batman! You're not allowed to tamper with the Hand of Fate!
Batman : I don't believe in fate!
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Batman : Where's Mockridge?
The Riddler : In the center of the maze, along with the minotaur robot. I've programmed it to destroy him at exactly 4:30 a.m. Which gives you less than ten minutes to run the maze and find him. But first, throw down your utility belts. It'll be more... interesting that way, don't you think?
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Robin : What did you mean a joke on his name? You know who he is?
Batman : I figured the creator of the minotaur game was behind this the minute I saw that billboard. I read all about him in the company records I examined. His name's Nygma. Edward Nygma.
Robin : I get it. E. Nygma. Meaning a puzzle or riddle. An enigma. At least we know who we're looking for.
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Daniel Mockridge : So I've made sure that Competitron owns all rights to Riddle of the Minotaur, free and clear. Considering all the licensing and merchandising... oh, well, heck, we just built a Minotaur amusement park outside the city. And if we'd had to pay royalties on all that to the creator...
Bruce Wayne : You can stop pitching, Mockridge. I want this deal so I can move Competitron to Gotham. This city desperately needs the jobs it'll create.
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Batman : "When is the minotaur's owner as high as an elephant's eye?"
Robin : Hmm... well, Mockridge owns the Minotaur, but what's as high as an elephant's eye?
Batman : Corn.
Robin : Corn?
[he's thrust back into his seat as the Batmobile begins moving]
Batman : From an old song lyric before your time.
Robin : So, what's he's saying? "When Mockridge is corny"? "When Mockridge is in the corn"?
Batman : What's another word meaning corn?
Robin : Uh, k-kernel? Cob?
Batman : Maize. "When Mockridge is in the maize"!
Robin : The maze at the amusement park!
Batman : Exactly.
