- Sinead O'Conner: What do you know about suffering? Your whole life is frivolous and petty. You spend your whole day worried about whether one of your tenants is gay.
- Norman Fell: It's just a part I play...
- Sinead O'Conner: A part you *chose* to play, sir.
- William Shatner: Look at us. Is this what you want? You've... pitted us against each other... like animals in a cage. For what? A silly late night talk show? Do you know what it is to feel... to... Love?
- Narrator: But in a game of doubles...
- Capt. Willie Jones: This is a game of DOUBLES.
- Narrator: He's been playing singles way too long...
- Capt. Willie Jones: You been playing singles wayyyyy too long.
- Narrator: But now there's word on the street that that little show-off Aga-SSI is back in the game.
- Armand Assante: So, the word on the street is that that little show-off Aga-SSI is back in the game.