- Society Sandy: They're oil rich. Get 'em on the phone.
- Secretary: But they're not in the social register.
- Society Sandy: Who cares? With that kind of loot in the cash register, this could be the coming out party of the year.
- Society Sandy: Sounds like you're out to get a name for yourself.
- Daisy Moses: No, we're out to get a name for Elly. One with a Mrs. in front of it.
- Milburn Drysdale: Come on, we've got to get up there and stop them.
- Jane Hathaway: But Chief, a coming out party for Elly May isn't such a bad idea.
- Milburn Drysdale: It is when they spare no expense.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: But you've still got that Luther somebody and his Ozark jug band.
- Jed Clampett: Luther Gooch phoned to cancel too. Seems they needed some new jugs to toot on, so they had a party and now they got the jugs, but nobody's sober enough to play 'em.
- Jane Hathaway: I don't know which will hurt them more. Getting laughed at then or being told now they're doing everything wrong.
- Milburn Drysdale: You've got to tell them.
- Jane Hathaway: Absolutely not, I'll resign first.
- Milburn Drysdale: Alright, resign first, then tell them.
- Jed Clampett: We wanna do everythin' just right.
- Mrs. Margaret Drysdale: And you have, from these decorations to having Bessie the chimp parking the cars.
- Jane Hathaway: By the way, where's your wife?
- Milburn Drysdale: At home. She couldn't make it.
- Jane Hathaway: Oh really, what happened?
- Milburn Drysdale: I locked her in the closet.
- Daisy Moses: Out here, a comin' out party can get a gal married quicker than a shot gun could back home.