Black Books (TV Series)

Fever (2002)

Bill Bailey: Manny

Quotes 

• Fran : If I told you the walls of my flat were actually moving in, would you think I was mad?

  Bernard : No, I would ask you to come 'round and look after my small children.

  Fran : Look, if you don't believe me you can come 'round and we'll watch the walls.

  Manny : Don't be ridiculous. You'll be staying in watching the thermometer with me, won't you Bernard?

  Bernard : Oh, I dunno, walls, thermometers, it's an impossible decision. I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.

• Manny : Is space hot?

  Bernard : Of course it is, where do you think we get pineapples from?

• Manny : Will you stay with me?

  Bernard : No, I'm a boyfriend now. I have duties. Lots of sighing, holding hands, not finishing sentences properly...

• Book Return Man : [brings back copy of Tempocalypse]  I bought this for a friend, and they didn't want it, i was wondering if i could exchange it, preferably for the money

  Bernard : [grabs the book and begins flicking through it rapidly then stops]  Aha! sand!

  [collects some onto his finger] 

  Bernard : Manny!

  [sprinkles it into manny's mouth] 

  Manny : [tasting the sand]  Sardinia... South... Porto Scuzo... The little beach by the monastery.

  Bernard : [to customer]  Get out!

  [shoves his book back into his hands] 

  Book Return Man : Damn!

  [leaves] 

• Manny : The heating's on!

  Bernard : I want to see what happens to you at 88 degrees.

• Manny : Can I sleep at yours?

  Fran : There's no room!

• Manny : She's not even sweating. Has she not glands?

• Bernard : You've got yourself a case, you should get a lawyer.

  Manny : Expensive though. Maybe get someone to pretend to be a lawyer.

  Bernard : Yeah, get someone who's a bit like a lawyer - arrogant, cruel, crooked, a real bastard.

  [Manny and Fran stare at Bernard] 

  Bernard : No, I'm not doing it.

  Fran : Oh, go on! And then when you get a girlfriend, I'll give you a reference! I'll lie, I'll say you were... okay.

  Bernard : Alright, deal.

• Fran : Well if you don't believe me you can come round tonight and we'll watch the wall!

  Manny : Don't be ridiculous;we'll be staying in watching the thermometer,won't we Bernard?

  Bernard : I don't know,it's an impossible choice;walls,thermometers,I just have to hope when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.