- Denny Crane: We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians.
- Paul Lewiston: There's no opportunity to plead this out?
- Alan Shore: Only if I plead guilty which is, of course, unacceptable. I have to worry about a three strikes law since I plan to commit future crimes.
- Catherine Piper: Alan, wonderful news, the Kerwin desposition has been cancelled. You don't have to go. Your morning is now free, which works out because it seems these two police officers are here to arrest you.
- Alan Shore: If I had a nickel for every time you've threatened to fire me, Paul, I could simply retire.