- [Bill reads a sign posted on Mr. Boomer's property]
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Dixieland Acres. No hunting, no fishing, no Yankees - Absolutely! Captain, um, Major Caleb Boomer, C.S.A.
- Calamity: The Civil War ended long before we were born. You'd think the Judge and Mr. Boomer would stop fighting it.
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Oh, they like fightin'. It's what keeps them feelin' young.
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: It's a good thing neither of you is Caleb Boomer.
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Why? Did you beat him at checkers again?
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: The next time I beat him, it will be over the head with this
- [can]
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: !
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Now Judge, there's nothing wrong with Mr. Boomer wanting to buy back his 80 acres.
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Yeah, but there's something wrong when he comes in here with a gunfighter for a bodyguard.
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Hey! Where are you two think you're goin'?
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: I just thought we'd ride out to see that your 80 acres hasn't seceded to the Confederacy.
- Calamity: Do think the Judge knows about ore?
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Maybe - I bet Mr. Bellamy does and I think I know how we can find out for sure.
- Calamity: Me, too, you mean?
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Mm-hmm. It means takin' a lot of chances, but you got a lot of spunk - for a girl - but if you do as I say, no one's goin' to get hurt... unless maybe it's me.
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: This court finds you guilty of stealing ore samples off of my land and Caleb's land, then you tried to sell our land to American Tungsten.
- Eustace Bellamy: Instead of holding me, you should give us a percentage for finding tungsten on your place!
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Well, maybe I will give you a percentage. The next 50% of your life will be spent, at the state's expense, right in the brand new penitentiary.