Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Series)

Restless (2000)

Nicholas Brendon: Xander Harris

Photos 

Quotes 

• [in Xander's dream] 

  Principal Snyder : I walked by your guidance counselor's office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there, waiting to be shepherded. I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch.

  Xander Harris : You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.

• [in Xander's dream] 

  Spike : Giles here is gonna teach me to be a Watcher. Says I got the stuff.

  Rupert Giles : Spike's like a son to me.

  Rupert Giles : That's good. I was into that for a while, but... I got other stuff goin' on... You gotta have something. Gotta be with movin' forward.

  Buffy Summers : Like a shark.

  Xander Harris : Like a shark with feet and... much less fins.

  Spike : And on land.

  Rupert Giles : Very good.

• [in Xander's dream] 

  Soldier : [Apocalypse Now on TV]  We gotta keep goin' men. We gotta take that hill... Damn this war.

  Rupert Giles : I have to say, I really feel "Apocalypse Now" is overrated.

  Xander Harris : No, no. It gets better.

  Soldier : [on TV]  Men.

  Xander Harris : I remember that it gets better.

  Soldier : [on TV]  Oh, my God. What's happened to my men? *Aah*!

  Buffy Summers : Want some corn?

  Xander Harris : Butter flavor?

  Buffy Summers : New car smell.

  Xander Harris : Cool.

• [in Xander's dream] 

  [door at the top of his basement stairs is being broken down] 

  Xander Harris : That's not the way out.

  [door slams open showing Xander's father] 

  Xander's Father : What the hell is wrong with you? You won't come upstairs? What are you, *ashamed* of us? Your mother's crying her guts out!

  Xander Harris : You don't understand.

  Xander's Father : [comes down the steps]  No. You don't understand. The line ends here with us and you're not gonna change that. You haven't got the heart.

  [reaches into Xander's chest and rips out his heart] 

• [in Willow's dream] 

  Xander Harris : So whatcha been doin'? Doing spells?

  [to Oz] 

  Xander Harris : She does spells with Tara.

  Oz : Yeah, I heard about that.

  Willow Rosenberg : I'm gonna be late.

  [leaves] 

  Xander Harris : Sometimes I think about two women doin' a spell... and then I do a spell by myself.

• [in Xander's dream] 

  Principal Snyder : Are you a soldier?

  Xander Harris : I'm a comfortador.

  Principal Snyder : You're neither. You're a whipping boy, raised by mongrels, and set on a sacrificial stone.

• Xander Harris : Dinner is served.

  [entering with a bowl of popcorn] 

  Xander Harris : And my very own recipe.

  Willow Rosenberg : Ooh! You pushed the button on the microwave that says "popcorn"?

  Xander Harris : Actually, I pushed defrost, but, uh, Joyce was there in the clinch.

• Xander Harris : Yeah. From now on, you keep your Slayer friends out of my dreams. Is that clear?

  Willow Rosenberg : She's not good for the sleepin'.

  Buffy Summers : Ahh... well, at least you all didn't dream about that guy with the cheese. Don't know where the hell that came from.

• [in Xander's dream] 

  Xander Harris : I move pretty fast. You know, a man's always after...

  Joyce Summers : Conquest?

  Xander Harris : I'm a conquistador.

  Xander Harris , Joyce Summers : Are you sure it isn't comfort?

  Xander Harris : I'm a comfortador, also.

  Joyce Summers : I do know the difference. I've learned about boys.

• [in Xander's dream] 

  [in bathroom, he turns and finds scientists and soldiers from the Initiative watching] 

  Xander Harris : Okay, I'm gonna find another bathroom.