- Madge: Some guys can never love any woman but their mother... and some never had a mother who loved them.
- Gil Grissom: I've enjoyed working with you.
- Catherine Willows: Which part? The part where I got in your face or the part where I, uh, lost evidence, or, uh, maybe you just missed me?
- Gil Grissom: I did miss you. I missed your passion and your tenacity. I even missed your tush.
- [last lines]
- Gil Grissom: Where would you go if you had the connections and the cash to go anywhere you wanted?
- Captain Jim Brass: I hear Fiji's nice.
- Gil Grissom: Eiger went further. He went all the way back to his childhood.
- Captain Jim Brass: Yeah. I think I'd take Fiji.
- Gil Grissom: Well, howdy! I was wondering: Do you carry adult diapers?
- Madge: Oh, we sure do! What are you: About a 34 or a 36?
- Gil Grissom: Well... they're not for me.
- Madge: [she looks at Nick Stokes and smiles] Well, aren't you lucky to have such a nice daddy?
- [the team has entered the secret room and is dumbfounded to see it garnished with man-sized baby furniture]
- C.S.I. Swing Shift Supervisor Catherine Willows: Wow! Just when you had thought you'd seen it all.
- Warrick Brown: People live in fear with this guy?
- C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Imagine the fear he lived with.
- [first lines]
- Laura Tessler: This is the scene in Seven Hills, where casino mogul Bruce Eiger has been found dead on the grounds of his palatial estate. Eiger turned sixty earlier this year, throwing himself a half a million dollar birthday party at his newly renovated Queen Regent Casino. Cause of death remains unknown, but as Eiger himself famously joked, "In Vegas, if nobody wants you dead, you're not working hard enough." Reporting live from Seven Hills, I'm Laura Tessler.
- Gil Grissom: Question. You come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do you do?
- Greg Sanders: ...Is that a trick question?
- Captain Jim Brass: Welcome to the party.
- Catherine Willows: [to Grissom & Ecklie] What's going on? This is my scene.
- Conrad Ecklie: High profile case - woke up the supervisors. All hands on deck, Cath. Grissom's lead on this, he's the senior supervisor... I'm an administrator, I run interference for you guys. Starting with the press.
- Gil Grissom: It's nothing personal, Catherine. Cases like these rain down hard, you need all the help you can get.
- Catherine Willows: I need help. Not supervision.
- Donna Eiger: I don't get what the mystery is here, he was murdered. Some guys collect art, Bruce collected enemies.
- Sy Magli: I hear they're using all the backhoes in hell to dig him a new pit.
- Captain Jim Brass: We're, uh, focusing on his life here on earth.
- Sy Magli: Bruce didn't have any friends, so he had to invite his enemies, a real "Who's Who" of Las Vegas.
- Sofia Curtis: How long does a woman lactate after giving birth?
- Sara Sidle: I had a professor in college, her 6-year-old would come in every day for lunch. I guess they go for as long as you let them.
- Sofia Curtis: What, the boobs or the kids? It's like you're a... two-legged topless buffet.
- [shudders]