- Sabrina Duncan: Well, I knew you were fast, kiddo, but moving in as hostess for the big man on the first day has got to be a record.
- Kelly Garrett: Must be my bikini. This style's called 'Bottoms up'.
- John Bosley: [after Miss Barkley went along with the ruse] Thank you, Miss Barkley. Oh, and by the way, I want you to know that Charlie's annual donation to the library fund is on it's way.
- Miss Barkley: [on speakerphone] Splendid, Mr. Bosley. I don't know what we'd do without Charlie's continued generocity.
- John Bosley: It's from the heart, Miss Barkley. Charlie feels that all girls should be well rounded.
- Nick Doyle: I thought we might get to know each other...
- Jill Munroe: Yeah, I understand what you're saying, but I'm not selling what you're buying.
- Maria Bartone: Jill, thanks for everything. You're an angel.
- Jill Munroe: Yeah? That's what they tell me!
- Sabrina Duncan: Ok, I'll go with Jill, I know what we're looking for. Now you, eh, keep Bartone off our backs, ok?
- Kelly Garrett: It's not your backs he's after...
- Kelly Garrett: But Charlie, how did you manage to ski into a tree?
- Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] It was a matter of chivalry, Angel. Any woman who expends the effort to wiggle into a pair of pants that tight, deserves the full attention of every red blooded male on the slopes.
- Jill Munroe: Oh, let us know if anybody writes anything juicy on your cast, Charlie.
- Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] How's your breaststroke, Jill?
- Jill Munroe: Oh, I thought you'd never ask, Charlie.
- Kelly Garrett: Just swim in that water, Jill, don't drink it.
- Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] I'm afraid I'm, I'm eh, I'm snowed in here at Aspen, Angels. But it's not all bad, my suite offers a magnificent view of local natural formations.
- [cut to a buxom blonde taking off her wintercoat in front of Charlie]
- Charles Townsend: And it's uncanny how they bring to mind the majestic slopes of Switzerland.
- Jill Munroe: Hey, do you know if Sabrina managed to sign on to 'move her tail' for Bartone's airline?
- Kelly Garrett: She did, but the way he looked her over I think he's after more than coffee, tea or milk.
- Jill Munroe: Excuse me. I think I'll take a hot shower. You know, my goosebumps are so big I can't tell which ones are the real me.
- Steiner: [aiming a gun at Sabrina] Now, what's your name?
- Sabrina Duncan: Eh, Fibbersmith. Angela Fibbersmith.
- Jill Munroe: Well, Bosley thinks there's as much a chance of luring Bartone across the border, as there is of Charlie joining the gay-lib.
- [bursts out in a toothy laugh]
- Sabrina Duncan: How do I qualify as a stewardess?
- Jim Taylor: Oh, that's easy.
- [pauses to look her up and down]
- Jim Taylor: You've got all the qualifications that Bartone cares about, but just to avoid questions we'll... make like we've got something going together.
- Sabrina Duncan: That should be easy.
- Jim Taylor: [indicating a woman coming their way] That's Wendy Green. She'll be your co-stewardess on the plane. Might as well start playing our parts, huh?
- [they kiss passionately]
- Jill Munroe: Right on schedule, stewardess Duncan.
- Sabrina Duncan: Only way to fly.
- [takes a sip from her wine]
- Kelly Garrett: Tacky, Sabrina, very tacky.
- Sabrina Duncan: Thank you.
- Jill Munroe: But I don't even like wine.
- Sabrina Duncan: You'll like these bottles, they're filled with heroine crystals.
- Jill Munroe: [entering the wine cellar] Well, now we know where to come in case of an air raid.
- Sabrina Duncan: I'll drink to that.
- Jill Munroe: Oh, Kelly's right, you are tacky tonight.
- Sabrina Duncan: Sorry.
- Frank Bartone: Sorry, but I have to go the wine cellar.
- Kelly Garrett: I was hoping you'd consider attending to something more pressing, like you and I on the dance floor?
- Frank Bartone: It is very difficult to refuse an invitation like that, but I must for the moment.
- Peasant: I don't understand, I say 'Sweet Sue', I get wine, you pay me for wine?
- Kelly Garrett: That's how Henry Kissinger does it.
- John Bosley: Have formal charges been filed against Frank Bartone?
- Charles Townsend: [on speakerphone] In spades, Bosley. The word is, Bartone couldn't even win a leniency appeal from a lady judge and an all woman jury.
- Kelly Garrett: Don't count on it.
- Kelly Garrett: You do lead an exciting life, Jill.
- Jill Munroe: Where would I have been without you?
- Kelly Garrett: Up to your peaches, baby!
- Jill Munroe: Oh, I know. He's waiting in the lobby for me now! I have to get in the car with him. Wonder what it's going to be like getting out of a car going forty miles an hour?
- Kelly Garrett: Count your blessings. Sabrina's entertaining him tonight at ten thousand feet!
- Jill Munroe: [re the wine cellar] It may be locked, but I know where the key is.
- Kelly Garrett: You do get around, Jill.