- Diane Chambers: Uh, not this again. It's starting to sound like a broken record.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, now you're saying that I'm redundant, that I repeat myself, that I say things over and over.
- Sam Malone: Um, I'm sorry Diane. One more art question here.
- Diane Chambers: What is it Sam?
- Sam Malone: Uh, all right. Excuse me.
- [Sam places an art book in front of Diane]
- Sam Malone: OK, now this Rubens guy. Is this the same guy that invented that sandwich?
- Diane Chambers: No, no, I don't think so.
- Sam Malone: Well, OK, I was just wondering. Boy, cause I tell you, the women in his paintings look like they really tuck away the groceries.
- Al: [after Diane slaps him a few times and walks away] Still, that's the most fun I've had since 1958.
- Sam Malone: Guys, does anybody remember anything that Diane has ever said about impressionism?
- Carla Tortelli: No, but I know she makes a bad first one. After that, it gets worse.
- [Norm and Cliff walk into the bar]
- Norm Peterson: Afternoon everybody.
- Everyone in the Bar: [loudly] Norm!
- Cliff Clavin: Afternoon everybody.
- [dead silence]
- Norm Peterson: [about his and Cliff's meal at The Hungry Heifer] Yeah, Cliffy had himself the tunnel T-bone. For less than four bucks, you get 24 ounces of USDA choice US bef.
- Cliff Clavin: Bef? You mean beef.
- Norm Peterson: Beef? Don't be ridiculous Cliffy, that stuff is bef. You see, it's a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic, what... , meat-like substance.
- Cliff Clavin: Ohh, Norm.
- Norm Peterson: What do expect for four bucks? Do you hear me complain about the loobster?
- Diane Chambers: Well, Sam I guess I'll be going home. Unless there's something you'd like to talk to me about. Now that we're almost alone and we have a private moment.
- [she is expecting Sam to ask her to go away for a romantic weekend]
- Sam Malone: Well, actually there is something I'd like to ask you.
- [He is going to ask her to tend bar for the weekend while he's away. The only other time she tended bar, she didn't like it and did badly]
- Diane Chambers: Oh? Ask away.
- Sam Malone: You know, you've been acting kind of strange today, is there...
- Diane Chambers: Well, I've had something on my mind.
- Sam Malone: Ah-ha. Well, me too. Ah... Well, it's getting pretty tough for me to ask you, actually, um...
- Diane Chambers: Sam, if it makes it any easier, I know what you're going to ask.
- Sam Malone: You do?
- Diane Chambers: Yes. I overheard your conversation. Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. You're going to ask about this weekend, aren't you?
- Sam Malone: Yeah. Yeah. The first time we tried it, it didn't turn out too hot. Well, I'm going to take full responsibility for that.
- Diane Chambers: Well. I'm sure that I was at fault too.
- Sam Malone: Well, whatever, whatever. I think the important thing is that it'll be better this time, now you know where everything is.
- Diane Chambers: Well, I suppose that's true.
- Sam Malone: Yeah, I'll tell you what. Ah, if you like this weekend, maybe we can talk about making it permanent. What do you say?
- Diane Chambers: Permanent? Is that what you want Sam?
- Sam Malone: Well, I'm not making any promises here. Let, ah, let's just see how the weekend goes. OK? Is tomorrow at 3 OK, cause I already made reservations...
- Diane Chambers: I know, I'm... Sam, I'm, I'm just overwhelmed.
- Sam Malone: Oh, come on, you don't have to be nervous. Listen, after your first couple of drinks, you'll relax, get into it and I think you'll actually enjoy it.
- Diane Chambers: Well, it does seem to help.
- Sam Malone: Yeah.
- Diane Chambers: Oh, Sam...
- Sam Malone: What, what, what?
- Diane Chambers: Well, everything's going so fast. My mind is a tumult. I feel like we're on a runaway train. Where will it end? I, I, I've got to think about this, I'm sorry.
- [heads out of the bar]
- Sam Malone: Boy you really are taking this seriously.
- [yells after her as she leaves the bar]
- Sam Malone: Hey, listen, don't worry, if you break anything, I'm fully insured.
- [first lines]
- Norm Peterson: [finishing his beer] Delicious, Sammy. Fortunately, I saved room for another.
- Sam Malone: [Norm enters the bar] What do you want, Norm?
- Norm Peterson: A reason to live. Keep 'em coming.
- Diane Chambers: [to Paula, about her relationship with mystery man, namely Sam] But, we have something that just won't die. Kind of like crabgrass.
- Norm Peterson: Yeah, Cliffie had himself the Tunnel T-Bone - for less than $4, you get 24 ounces of prime USDA choice baf.
- Cliff Clavin: Baf - do you mean beef?
- Norm Peterson: Beef? Don't be ridiculous Cliffie, that stuff is baf. See, it's a Hungry Heifer trademark for a processed, synthetic... what... meat-like substance.
- Cliff Clavin: Aah, no.
- Norm Peterson: C'mon, what do you expect for four bucks? See me complain about the loobster?