- Sam Malone: Tony, my hair stylist, was making a left on Boylston and this bus cut him off. The car jumped the curb and he slammed through this hot dog stand and he ended up in a pond in the public gardens. He's in the hospital now with two broken legs. Gotta cancel my hair appointment. I hate it when stuff like that happens to me.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [to the gang in the bar] Greetings all. I have a brief announcement. You may recall last year I brought in my dysfunctional men's group. Well, unfortunately my low self-esteem group heard about it and now they think they're not good enough.
- Rebecca Howe: You know, when I was a kid, I was the first one in my class to... you know, develop breasts. They teased me the whole year.
- Norm Peterson: Oh, yeah. Me too.
- Rebecca Howe: [Woody leaves the office with a grim look on his face; buzzing sound is audible through the open door] Woody, what was that buzzing?
- Woody Boyd: Sam - the razor.
- Rebecca Howe: But your hair looks the same.
- Woody Boyd: It's the only hair I have left.
- Rebecca Howe: [Carla is expecting Elvis to make his presence known on his birthday] Carla, it's almost midnight. Any sign?
- Carla Tortelli: Not one blue suede shoe. I guess Elvis has disappointed me again.
- Rebecca Howe: Well, I'm sure the King had a lot of other people to visit around the world.