- [Sam and Robin are playing chess]
- Robin Colcord: King's rook to Queen 1.
- Sam Malone: [repeating Robin's move] OK, King's rook to Queen 1. Well, in that case, my horsy guy takes your little pointy headed guy.
- Cliff Clavin: Ah, pubescence. An emotional time. I don't mind saying that puberty was one, long nightmare for me.
- Norm Peterson: How's that Cliff?
- Cliff Clavin: Ma wouldn't allow it in the house.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: So where did you get all this expensive listening equipment anyway?
- Norm Peterson: It's Pete's stuff. He uses this stuff all the time.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Pete? Are you a surveillance expert?
- Pete: No. My wife sleeps around a lot.
- Rebecca Howe: [Norm is using the computer in Rebecca's office; Rebecca walks in] Norm, how many times have I told you I don't want you in here trying to erase your bar tab?
- Norm Peterson: Come on. Do you think I would do something as deceitful as that? I'm only trying to help Sammy cheat at chess.
- Rebecca Howe: That's terrible!... will you step on it? Robin and I can still make that late supper.
- Norm Peterson: I'm trying, I'm trying. But I tell you, my bar tab's eaten up most of the memory on this computer.
- Robin Colcord: It's not surprising you beat me at these physical games. I mean, all they depended upon were simple hand-to-eye coordination. Animal cunning. I mean, these are the only things you're adroit at.
- Sam Malone: Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute. No one calls me a droit!