Photos
Quotes
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Frasier Crane : [about the possibility that Bennett Ludlow and Carla are dating] Sam, you're talking about one of the most distinguished and accomplished men of letters I know, dating a common barmaid.
Sam Malone : You're dating a barmaid.
Frasier Crane : Well, she wasn't a barmaid when I met her.
Sam Malone : Oh, that's right, that's right. She was a lunatic.
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Sam Malone : What seems to be the problem here, folks?
Frasier Crane : Well, Sam, my colleague has dropped a crumb during dinner, and in the intervening hours it has been encrusted on his tie.
Cliff Clavin : Oh what, you can take Norm's tie here, put it in a kettle and make soup. Incidently, it's a little known fact that the tie was invented in ancient times to be used as a bib, you know, to wipe your chin.
Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso : You mean they're thinking of changing that?
Sam Malone : Why don't you just tell the guy that he's got a spot?
Frasier Crane : [mockingly] Gee, that's an idea. Why didn't we just come to Sam in the first place? Sam, you just don't say, "there's a spot on your tie" to a man the stature of Dr. Bennett Ludlow.
Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso : THE Bennett Ludlow?
Diane Chambers : You've heard of him, Coach?
Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso : No.
Frasier Crane : Coach, he's only one of the true giants of psychiatry: author, innovator, educator and I'm not ashamed to say my idol and inspiration.
Norm Peterson : All right, you lean over, you pretend you're admiring his tie tack, and then just nibble the morsel off really quick. Who's the wiser?!
Diane Chambers : Sam is right. We have to tell him.
Frasier Crane : Of course you're right. Oh Sam, may we have three brandies please. And I guess I'm the one who should tell him. After all, I'm the one who suggested beef wellington.
Norm Peterson : Beef wellington, you say?!
[makes a motion toward Bennett Ludlow]
Norm Peterson : Where's that tie?!
Frasier Crane : Just have to find a way to tell him as subtle and tactful a way that will allow him to preserve his dignity.
[meanwhile Carla approaches Bennett Ludlow's table]
Carla Tortelli : Hey, Pigpen. What's that thing?
[points at the crumb on his tie]
Carla Tortelli : What are you trying, to catch pidgeons? Ew.
[picks the crumb off his tie]
Dr. Bennett Ludlow : Thank you very much.
Carla Tortelli : Ah, don't mention it. I like a man who wears his dinner with pride.
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Diane Chambers : [Sam suspects Carla is dating Frasier's mentor] Frasier is in a very fragile state of mind. Your asinine theories, while suitable fodder for inane bar conversation, do nothing to ease his fit of pique.
Sam Malone : Wait a minute here. The one word I understood in that, I don't exactly care for. My theory is not asinine.
[as Diane talks, Ludlow enters the bar, and embraces Carla]
Diane Chambers : You're right. It's a lot worse. Think of the two of them together. Bennett Ludlow and Carla? It's harebrained! Just imagine it.
[Diane turns around and sees the embrace, then turns back to Sam]
Diane Chambers : Well, you don't have to imagine it. There it is. Have you ever...
[Diane does a double take]
Diane Chambers : AHHHH!
Sam Malone : No, I guess I haven't.
Frasier Crane : Diane, what's...
[Frasier turns and sees Carla and Ludlow]
Frasier Crane : AHHHH!
