Clueless (TV Series)

Kiss Me Kip (1996)

Stacey Dash: Dionne 'Dee' Davenport

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cher Horowitz : [opening lines] 

  [as Sean cavorts about, they're coming down the stairs from cinema] 

  Cher Horowitz : Kip Kilmore. I am so smitten. I'm the past tense of smitten. I'm smut.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : He is so come-to-me gorgeous.

  Amber Mariens : I am so totally he's type.

  Cher Horowitz : [sighs]  He is so handsome. And according to the articles, he is such a sweet and good-hearted guy.

  Murray : You guys are all buggin', right? This Kip Kilmore character is nothing but some lights and makeup, all right? I heard, in real life, he's five-two, and this

  [pointing out hairstyle of cardboard display figure] 

  Murray : right here, it's a rug.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : How can you say that about Cher's future potential husband?

  Murray : Cos it's true.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Jealous.

  Murray : I'm not jealous.

  Cher Horowitz : Mm-hmm. Kip wouldn't be fake. He's much too fine a person. Anyway, I happen to know for a fact that he's tall, has sky-blue eyes, and does all his own stunts.

  Sean Holiday : Oh yeah, and how do you know this?

  Cher Horowitz : Because Daddy represents him.

  Amber Mariens : [grabbing her arm]  Oh my God, you've met Kip Kilmore? Tell me, tell me everything! Was he wearing a jacket?

  Cher Horowitz : I know what movie he's doing next.

  Amber Mariens : You have to tell us.

  Sean Holiday : Come on, spill it!

  Cher Horowitz : He's gonna star in the movie version of the Tarantula.

  Sean Holiday : The comic book? Oh God! If anyone can be the Tarantula, it would be Kip Kilmore! Unless, of course, they cast me!

  [goes through exaggerated action routine] 

• Kip Killmore : [as Mel opens the door]  Hi, Mel! How's it going, mate?

  Cher Horowitz : [spying, with Dee, from vantage point on balcony, pulling in her breath]  He said 'mate'!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : He really talks like that.

  [gushing] 

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Oh, Cher, I must admit, he is true husband material.

  [as the two men go up the stairs, Cher groans, shivering with delight] 

• Cher Horowitz : [as she and Dee stands posing on the stairs, strained, under her breath]  They've been in there for, like, three hours...!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [grimacing]  I know. Just justifying a look for this long is getting to me.

• Mel Horowitz : [coming out of his home office alone, much to the girls' disappointment]  Are you two still here? What on earth are you doing?

  Cher Horowitz : [both together]  We're waiting for Kip!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [both together]  We're waiting for Kip!

  Mel Horowitz : He went out the back.

  Cher Horowitz : [eagerly]  Is he coming back?

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [eagerly]  Is he gonna do the Tarantula?

  Mel Horowitz : Ask his new girlfriend, Summer Bonét. She seems to be calling all the shots.

  Cher Horowitz : [as Dee scoffs as well]  Summer Bonét? That terrible actress?

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Oh, calling her an actress is being kind. She's a total spokesmodel.

  Cher Horowitz : This is so tragic.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Ooh, I can still smell his aftershave.

• Dionne "Dee" Davenport : She has no talent at all.

  Cher Horowitz : Her only talent is preying on the hearts of poor vulnerable men.

  [sighs] 

  Cher Horowitz : Like Kip.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Remember when that director of Primal Death left his wife to be with her?

  Cher Horowitz : [scoffs]  And she made him cast her as the lead in that remake he did of The Miracle Worker?

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : And he never worked again.

  Cher Horowitz : And then she went with the singer from Locust, and she made him record that horrible duet with her.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : And then the band fully broke up.

  Cher Horowitz : [despondent]  How could he possibly fall into her web... when he needs somebody who cares for him and supports him?

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Ah, that is so Mother Teresa, Cher.

• Mel Horowitz : [answering machine]  You've reached the home office of Mel Horowitz, please leave a message, thank you.

  [beep] 

  Summer Bonet : [as the girls listen in]  Hello, Mel?

  Mel Horowitz : Hello, hello, I'm here.

  Summer Bonet : Hi, it's Summer Bonet.

  Mel Horowitz : Hi, Summer.

  Cher Horowitz : Dee, the machine didn't click off! Oh, it's private, we shouldn't listen.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [scoffs, rises]  As if!

  [leans gleefully over desk to make the most out of listening in] 

  Summer Bonet : ...calling to discuss Kip's contract.

  Mel Horowitz : Summer, we've been through this before, you're not Kip's manager, and I don't work for you.

  Summer Bonet : [sneers]  Yeah, and I told you that I am playing the female lead in Tarantula, even if Kip has to stop production to make it happen, okay?

  [sneers] 

  Summer Bonet : Come on, he's a two-bit hack, he's so dumb, he'll do whatever I tell him to. Goodbye, Mel.

  [dial tone] 

  Cher Horowitz : This is a disaster. This is just like when they gave Demi Moore twelve million dollars for Striptease.

  [there's something on her chair when she sits down] 

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : You knew it was gonna crash and burn,

  [Cher is surprised by what she found] 

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : but there was nothing you could do to stop it.

  Cher Horowitz : [sharply inhaling her breath]  Oh my God!

  [rushing forward with her find] 

  Cher Horowitz : I can't believe it! Heart attack! Kip's... date-book!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [scoffs]  Don't taunt me, Cher.

  Cher Horowitz : No, it's his, look! Costume fittings, workout schedules, interviews...

  [as Dee takes a whiff of the manly scent of the address book] 

  Cher Horowitz : He must have left it for a reason, subconsciously. Like, he wanted someone to find it, and help him...

• Cher Horowitz : [as they speed along in Murray's BMW]  Remember, Murray, you're sworn to secrecy about this date-book. If anyone found out, it could be like plutonium falling into the hands of Beavis and Butt-head.

  Murray : Did it ever occur to you guys that nobody cares that much about Kip Kilmore one way or the other?

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : How could you say a thing like that?

  Cher Horowitz : Obviously, you did not see him on Letterman when he got a complete standing ovation for carrying that huge cauldron of soup delivered to... He's heroic and caring. We have to find him and play him that tape!

• Salon Owner : I told you, he is not here.

  Cher Horowitz : Excuse me, we happen to know that Mr. Kilmore is here. And we have a very urgent message for him. We're his lawyers!

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [together with Cher]  We're his lawyers!

  Salon Owner : Look, if you don't have an appointment, I have to ask you to leave!

  [phone rings] 

  Salon Owner : Salon?

  [the two girls glance slyly at each other] 

  Salon Owner : Miss Einhorn, how are you?

  [the girls duck out of sight] 

  Salon Owner : No, good to speak to you.

  [pages through appointment book] 

  Salon Owner : I'm sure we can accommodate you any time. Tuesday? Tuesday at ten doesn't work.

  [the girls sneak past reception] 

  Salon Owner : Let's look at Thursday. Thursday at five also isn't very good.

  [the girls enter the salon] 

• Cher Horowitz : [eating lunch at school, surveying scandal sheet]  He is so sensitive! This must be so hard for him!

  [patting Dee on the arm, imploring:] 

  Cher Horowitz : We can't give up!

  Amber Mariens : [coming over]  Did you guys see about those two deranged fans stalking Kip Kilmore?

  Cher Horowitz : [scoffs]  Did it ever occur to you that maybe they are not stalking him and they are just trying to help?

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Not that we'd know or anything.

  [Cher echoes this with an innocent giggle] 

  Amber Mariens : [shrugs]  Whatever.

  [walks away] 

• Murray : Dee, you're gonna be my short-stop. Because your low to the ground, you got speed, and you got soft hands. Cher, you're gonna be third base, because you're a thinker, you anticipate, you're a leader.

  Sean Holiday : Plus, you guys will be closer on the field, so if you feel that female need to gossip, you could do it without disturbing the game.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Murray, what are you talking about?

  Sean Holiday : Coed softball starts Sunday. We're gonna slaughter Toluca Lake! Give it to me!

  [high-fives Murray] 

  Cher Horowitz : Boys, boys, this is really nice, but we don't have time for childish games.

  [Dee shakes her head] 

  Cher Horowitz : There must be some other girls you can ask.

  Sean Holiday : We don't want to.

  Murray : Well, we want to,

  [Dee takes an annoyed swipe at him] 

  Murray : but, heck...

  Sean Holiday : You're the only ones who can actually play.

  Cher Horowitz : That's really sweet...

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : ...but we're too busy right now.

  Sean Holiday : [disappointed]  I see.

  Murray : [rises]  Okay.

  Sean Holiday : [follows]  I see.

  Murray : Fine.

  [leaves] 

  Sean Holiday : Take that!

  [plays prank on Murray and passerby] 

  Cher Horowitz : High school boys just seem so immature next to someone like Kip.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : I know.

  Cher Horowitz : I wonder when we can see him.

  [consults appointment book] 

  Cher Horowitz : Dee, look, Kip is shooting Tarantula at the studio lot at five o'clock! We can see him in between takes!

• Murray : Woman, I've got some signals for you to memorize.

  Sean Holiday : Yeah.

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Murray, we told you, we have adult, mature things to do.

  Sean Holiday : [taunting]  Oh, that's right. I can't believe that hussy is making Kip cast her as the Black Widow. She cannot act. That is so calculating.

  Murray : Dude...

  Dionne "Dee" Davenport : [to Murray]  I told you it is highly classified.

  Murray : Oh, come on, he's my best bud. He's got top security clearance.

  Cher Horowitz : Guys, if you'll excuse us...

  [gets up] 

  Cher Horowitz : Dee and I have an emergency plan to put into action.

  Amber Mariens : [arriving]  Ooh, where did you get that yummy Italian leather date-book?

  [grabs it] 

  Cher Horowitz : Amber, give me that!

  Amber Mariens : Why, what's the big deal? Yours is probably empty.

  [smirks, peeks, inhales breath sharply] 

  Amber Mariens : Kip Kilmore?

  Cher Horowitz : Amber, that's private.

  Amber Mariens : [gasps]  He is going to be at Beluga tonight. Nobody is to be there.

  Cher Horowitz : [snatches back the date-book]  He needs his privacy.