Raye Birk: Riley Pringle

Quotes 

• Riley Pringle : This is our first televised game of the season and they've only given us 12 minutes for our salute to farming. I just want to make sure that your team is completely off the field when that whistle blows.

  Coach Hayden Fox : Riley, we are not here to take orders from a band leader. People are here because they want to see football. When your band takes the field at halftime, that is America's cue to take a bathroom break. They can't even hear the band because the water's running.

• Coach Hayden Fox : Oh come on, Riley. Don't get your tassels in an uproar.

  Riley Pringle : And they're not tassels, they're epaulets. Epaulets! Do you understand? Epaulets!

  [Riley leaves] 

  Coach Hayden Fox : Gentlemen, I think we've witnessed our first epauletic fit.

• Coach Hayden Fox : Come on, Riley. This isn't funny.

  Riley Pringle : Not funny? Was it funny when we played Ohio State and you and your thugs filled my loafers with cream of wheat? Or when you took our sheet music to "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and replaced it with "I'm too sexy for my car"? Or when you changed our marching band arrangements around so we would spell out "We stink"? Was that funny?

  Coach Hayden Fox : Yeah.

• Riley Pringle : Sometimes a person can only take so much.

  Coach Hayden Fox : Well, I understand that and if that's all you can take, that's just fine 'cause we're running out of stuff to do to you anyway.