- Christine Armstrong: How long did it take you and Beth to conceive Kelly?
- Coach Hayden Fox: What does that got to do with anything?
- Christine Armstrong: Well, I just want to know.
- Coach Hayden Fox: I don't know. It was a long time ago. I don't remember.
- Christine Armstrong: I'm just asking. Was it the first time or the fourth or the sixth or...
- Coach Hayden Fox: Well I don't know. It was our wedding night. It could have been the first or the fourth or the sixth.
- Christine Armstrong: You and Beth made love six times on your wedding night?
- Coach Hayden Fox: It was different back then. We didn't have cable.
- Coach Hayden Fox: All mt life, I thought of myself as strong, invincible. And now, I gotta find out...
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: You don't have any fish in your pond.
- Christine Armstrong: Sperm vacuuming?
- Coach Hayden Fox: It turns out that not only do I not have enough of them, but the ones I do have are dusty.