The Critic (TV Series)

Dr. Jay (1994)

Jon Lovitz: Jay Sherman

Quotes 

• [on Phillipsvision, a machine that changes sad film endings to happier ones] 

  Jay Sherman : I don't want Rhett coming back to Scarlett. I don't want the guy from "My Left Foot" to become a punter for the Bears. I want Debra Winger, Ali MacGraw and Bambi's mother to die!

• Jay Sherman : What if we find a cure for your disease, like in that film, "Lorenzo's Oil"?

  Duke Phillips : Isn't that the picture you called a mixture of fantasy and crap?

  Jay Sherman : Yes! I dubbed it "Fantacrap"!

• Jay Sherman : I did it! Oh, I'm a doc, a happy sneezy doc!

  [yawns] 

  Jay Sherman : Ooh, I'm a sleepy happy sneezy doc. If I don't get to bed, I'll be a grumpy dopey sleepy happy sneezy doc.

  [pause] 

  Jay Sherman : Bashful.