The Critic (TV Series)

Miserable (1994)

Jon Lovitz: Jay Sherman, Man with moustache

Quotes 

• Jay Sherman : So, how was prison?

  Jay's No.1 Fan : Well, the treated me pretty bad at first, but... then they found out I tried to kill a film critic. You know, in Texas, it's not even a crime.

  Jay Sherman : I'm well aware. At the Houston Film Festival, only half of us got out alive!

  [laughs] 

• Jay Sherman : Lady, don't take this the wrong way, but you're nuts!

  Old Lady : Oh, you sound just like the toaster.

• Jay Sherman : Next year, you could be head of this studio.

  Security Guard : No, last year I was head of the studio. A twelve-picture deal with Shelly Long seemed like a good idea...

• Jay Sherman : Jeremy, you're just an actor! You don't know how to use that thing!

  Jeremy : It's just a gun for god's sakes, not a bloody Xerox machine!

• [Reviewing Dr. Haing S. Ngor in "The Killing Fields"] 

  Jay Sherman : If you ask me, he should've gone to the "Acting Fields"!