- Dharma: Whatcha doin'?
- Greg: Reading all your books on spiritual enlightenment.
- Dharma: Really?
- Greg: This stuff is incredible! Do you realize these guys spent most of their lives figuring out who they are and what their true purpose was?
- Dharma: Yeah, it's pretty amazing isn't it?
- Greg: Unbelievable! I mean, if you buckle down, it shouldn't take more than a month!
- Dharma: Did you really read all these books?
- Greg: I skimmed - I got the gist! Walden: Simplify. Tibetan Book of the Dead: We're all going to die. Be Here Now: Well, - du-uh! And next I'm going to read the Bible.
- Dharma: Oh... Well, - let me save you some trouble: First half: don't mess with God; second half: Be nice to people.
- Greg: [grateful] Thank you. That's a couple of days right there.
- Dharma: I think I need some coffee.